USA Mega

Lottery Places

The time is now 9:06 am

You last visited
June 4, 2026, 10:59 pm

All times shown are
Eastern Time (GMT-5:00)

Home › Blogs › SirMetro's Blog

SirMetro's Blog

Page 7 of 9

Redneck Hunters

A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of them suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground.

He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other redneck whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba is dead! What should I do?"

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says,

"Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence..........then a shot is heard.

The redneck's voice comes back on the line,

"Okay, now what?"

Entry #34

Politically Correct Education

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" -
She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" -
She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" -
She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" -
She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" -
She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" -
She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" -
She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" -
She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you -
She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" -
She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" -
She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" -
She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY
CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" -
He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" -
He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" -
He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" -
He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" -
He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" -
He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" -
He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" -
He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" -
He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" -
He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out
of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."

Entry #33

Ga Cash 3 Stats

155 has missed 1381 and hit 13 times with an Average Skip of 587 games. The is due (past due) by -794 Games.
588 has missed 937 and hit 20 times with an Average Skip of 381 games. The is due (past due) by -556 Games.
177 has missed 783 and hit 23 times with an Average Skip of 332 games. The is due (past due) by -451 Games.
239 has missed 551 and hit 41 times with an Average Skip of 186 games. The is due (past due) by -365 Games.
178 has missed 558 and hit 38 times with an Average Skip of 201 games. The is due (past due) by -357 Games.
118 has missed 753 and hit 19 times with an Average Skip of 402 games. The is due (past due) by -351 Games.
499 has missed 839 and hit 12 times with an Average Skip of 636 games. The is due (past due) by -203 Games.
799 has missed 545 and hit 20 times with an Average Skip of 381 games. The is due (past due) by -164 Games.
666 has missed 792 and hit 12 times with an Average Skip of 636 games. The is due (past due) by -156 Games.
167 has missed 285 and hit 54 times with an Average Skip of 141 games. The is due (past due) by -144 Games.
048 has missed 276 and hit 56 times with an Average Skip of 136 games. The is due (past due) by -140 Games.
112 has missed 417 and hit 27 times with an Average Skip of 283 games. The is due (past due) by -134 Games.
128 has missed 284 and hit 45 times with an Average Skip of 170 games. The is due (past due) by -114 Games.
156 has missed 247 and hit 53 times with an Average Skip of 144 games. The is due (past due) by -103 Games.
466 has missed 411 and hit 24 times with an Average Skip of 318 games. The is due (past due) by -93 Games.
459 has missed 298 and hit 37 times with an Average Skip of 206 games. The is due (past due) by -92 Games.
338 has missed 335 and hit 30 times with an Average Skip of 254 games. The is due (past due) by -81 Games.
289 has missed 271 and hit 40 times with an Average Skip of 191 games. The is due (past due) by -80 Games.
028 has missed 222 and hit 48 times with an Average Skip of 159 games. The is due (past due) by -63 Games.
568 has missed 221 and hit 44 times with an Average Skip of 173 games. The is due (past due) by -48 Games.
024 has missed 194 and hit 51 times with an Average Skip of 150 games. The is due (past due) by -44 Games.
157 has missed 238 and hit 39 times with an Average Skip of 196 games. The is due (past due) by -42 Games.
147 has missed 205 and hit 46 times with an Average Skip of 166 games. The is due (past due) by -39 Games.
137 has missed 231 and hit 39 times with an Average Skip of 196 games. The is due (past due) by -35 Games.
158 has missed 179 and hit 53 times with an Average Skip of 144 games. The is due (past due) by -35 Games.
122 has missed 300 and hit 28 times with an Average Skip of 272 games. The is due (past due) by -28 Games.
355 has missed 254 and hit 32 times with an Average Skip of 238 games. The is due (past due) by -16 Games.
003 has missed 294 and hit 27 times with an Average Skip of 283 games. The is due (past due) by -11 Games.
578 has missed 167 and hit 49 times with an Average Skip of 156 games. The is due (past due) by -11 Games.
248 has missed 171 and hit 46 times with an Average Skip of 166 games. The is due (past due) by -5 Games.
125 has missed 175 and hit 44 times with an Average Skip of 173 games. The is due (past due) by -2 Games.
267 has missed 174 and hit 44 times with an Average Skip of 173 games. The is due (past due) by -1 Games.
579 has missed 147 and hit 52 times with an Average Skip of 147 games. The is due (past due) by 0 Games.
015 has missed 175 and hit 43 times with an Average Skip of 177 games. The is due (past due) by 2 Games.
057 has missed 163 and hit 45 times with an Average Skip of 170 games. The is due (past due) by 7 Games.
378 has missed 136 and hit 53 times with an Average Skip of 144 games. The is due (past due) by 8 Games.
256 has missed 193 and hit 37 times with an Average Skip of 206 games. The is due (past due) by 13 Games.
188 has missed 232 and hit 31 times with an Average Skip of 246 games. The is due (past due) by 14 Games.
059 has missed 181 and hit 39 times with an Average Skip of 196 games. The is due (past due) by 15 Games.
278 has missed 142 and hit 48 times with an Average Skip of 159 games. The is due (past due) by 17 Games.
467 has missed 135 and hit 50 times with an Average Skip of 153 games. The is due (past due) by 18 Games.
224 has missed 184 and hit 37 times with an Average Skip of 206 games. The is due (past due) by 22 Games.
258 has missed 155 and hit 43 times with an Average Skip of 177 games. The is due (past due) by 22 Games.
247 has missed 159 and hit 42 times with an Average Skip of 182 games. The is due (past due) by 23 Games.
446 has missed 288 and hit 24 times with an Average Skip of 318 games. The is due (past due) by 30 Games.
246 has missed 117 and hit 52 times with an Average Skip of 147 games. The is due (past due) by 30 Games.
238 has missed 132 and hit 46 times with an Average Skip of 166 games. The is due (past due) by 34 Games.
012 has missed 137 and hit 44 times with an Average Skip of 173 games. The is due (past due) by 36 Games.
009 has missed 280 and hit 24 times with an Average Skip of 318 games. The is due (past due) by 38 Games.
019 has missed 101 and hit 54 times with an Average Skip of 141 games. The is due (past due) by 40 Games.
358 has missed 145 and hit 41 times with an Average Skip of 186 games. The is due (past due) by 41 Games.
236 has missed 144 and hit 41 times with an Average Skip of 186 games. The is due (past due) by 42 Games.
356 has missed 118 and hit 46 times with an Average Skip of 166 games. The is due (past due) by 48 Games.
229 has missed 296 and hit 22 times with an Average Skip of 347 games. The is due (past due) by 51 Games.
389 has missed 92 and hit 51 times with an Average Skip of 150 games. The is due (past due) by 58 Games.
023 has missed 95 and hit 50 times with an Average Skip of 153 games. The is due (past due) by 58 Games.
089 has missed 125 and hit 41 times with an Average Skip of 186 games. The is due (past due) by 61 Games.
035 has missed 82 and hit 53 times with an Average Skip of 144 games. The is due (past due) by 62 Games.
345 has missed 103 and hit 46 times with an Average Skip of 166 games. The is due (past due) by 63 Games.
789 has missed 72 and hit 56 times with an Average Skip of 136 games. The is due (past due) by 64 Games.
037 has missed 152 and hit 35 times with an Average Skip of 218 games. The is due (past due) by 66 Games.
347 has missed 109 and hit 43 times with an Average Skip of 177 games. The is due (past due) by 68 Games.
018 has missed 63 and hit 56 times with an Average Skip of 136 games. The is due (past due) by 73 Games.
336 has missed 197 and hit 28 times with an Average Skip of 272 games. The is due (past due) by 75 Games.
346 has missed 102 and hit 43 times with an Average Skip of 177 games. The is due (past due) by 75 Games.
249 has missed 76 and hit 50 times with an Average Skip of 153 games. The is due (past due) by 77 Games.
127 has missed 48 and hit 61 times with an Average Skip of 125 games. The is due (past due) by 77 Games.
139 has missed 81 and hit 48 times with an Average Skip of 159 games. The is due (past due) by 78 Games.
049 has missed 75 and hit 48 times with an Average Skip of 159 games. The is due (past due) by 84 Games.
449 has missed 296 and hit 20 times with an Average Skip of 381 games. The is due (past due) by 85 Games.
366 has missed 459 and hit 14 times with an Average Skip of 545 games. The is due (past due) by 86 Games.
038 has missed 57 and hit 53 times with an Average Skip of 144 games. The is due (past due) by 87 Games.
034 has missed 61 and hit 51 times with an Average Skip of 150 games. The is due (past due) by 89 Games.
117 has missed 242 and hit 23 times with an Average Skip of 332 games. The is due (past due) by 90 Games.
138 has missed 48 and hit 54 times with an Average Skip of 141 games. The is due (past due) by 93 Games.
479 has missed 68 and hit 47 times with an Average Skip of 162 games. The is due (past due) by 94 Games.
257 has missed 54 and hit 51 times with an Average Skip of 150 games. The is due (past due) by 96 Games.
689 has missed 105 and hit 38 times with an Average Skip of 201 games. The is due (past due) by 96 Games.
348 has missed 85 and hit 42 times with an Average Skip of 182 games. The is due (past due) by 97 Games.
457 has missed 65 and hit 47 times with an Average Skip of 162 games. The is due (past due) by 97 Games.
168 has missed 102 and hit 38 times with an Average Skip of 201 games. The is due (past due) by 99 Games.
179 has missed 63 and hit 47 times with an Average Skip of 162 games. The is due (past due) by 99 Games.
245 has missed 71 and hit 44 times with an Average Skip of 173 games. The is due (past due) by 102 Games.
129 has missed 57 and hit 48 times with an Average Skip of 159 games. The is due (past due) by 102 Games.
017 has missed 93 and hit 39 times with an Average Skip of 196 games. The is due (past due) by 103 Games.
126 has missed 74 and hit 43 times with an Average Skip of 177 games. The is due (past due) by 103 Games.
047 has missed 50 and hit 50 times with an Average Skip of 153 games. The is due (past due) by 103 Games.
134 has missed 25 and hit 59 times with an Average Skip of 129 games. The is due (past due) by 104 Games.
145 has missed 85 and hit 40 times with an Average Skip of 191 games. The is due (past due) by 106 Games.
044 has missed 164 and hit 28 times with an Average Skip of 272 games. The is due (past due) by 108 Games.
146 has missed 8 and hit 65 times with an Average Skip of 117 games. The is due (past due) by 109 Games.
679 has missed 33 and hit 53 times with an Average Skip of 144 games. The is due (past due) by 111 Games.
148 has missed 51 and hit 47 times with an Average Skip of 162 games. The is due (past due) by 111 Games.
046 has missed 20 and hit 58 times with an Average Skip of 132 games. The is due (past due) by 112 Games.
357 has missed 29 and hit 54 times with an Average Skip of 141 games. The is due (past due) by 112 Games.
234 has missed 47 and hit 48 times with an Average Skip of 159 games. The is due (past due) by 112 Games.
026 has missed 92 and hit 37 times with an Average Skip of 206 games. The is due (past due) by 114 Games.
369 has missed 44 and hit 48 times with an Average Skip of 159 games. The is due (past due) by 115 Games.
149 has missed 58 and hit 44 times with an Average Skip of 173 games. The is due (past due) by 115 Games.
379 has missed 16 and hit 58 times with an Average Skip of 132 games. The is due (past due) by 116 Games.
279 has missed 55 and hit 44 times with an Average Skip of 173 games. The is due (past due) by 118 Games.
589 has missed 20 and hit 54 times with an Average Skip of 141 games. The is due (past due) by 121 Games.
233 has missed 211 and hit 23 times with an Average Skip of 332 games. The is due (past due) by 121 Games.
016 has missed 35 and hit 49 times with an Average Skip of 156 games. The is due (past due) by 121 Games.
367 has missed 27 and hit 51 times with an Average Skip of 150 games. The is due (past due) by 123 Games.
013 has missed 42 and hit 46 times with an Average Skip of 166 games. The is due (past due) by 124 Games.
268 has missed 35 and hit 48 times with an Average Skip of 159 games. The is due (past due) by 124 Games.
078 has missed 11 and hit 56 times with an Average Skip of 136 games. The is due (past due) by 125 Games.
299 has missed 138 and hit 29 times with an Average Skip of 263 games. The is due (past due) by 125 Games.
569 has missed 56 and hit 42 times with an Average Skip of 182 games. The is due (past due) by 126 Games.
223 has missed 146 and hit 28 times with an Average Skip of 272 games. The is due (past due) by 126 Games.
456 has missed 9 and hit 56 times with an Average Skip of 136 games. The is due (past due) by 127 Games.
159 has missed 19 and hit 52 times with an Average Skip of 147 games. The is due (past due) by 128 Games.
045 has missed 62 and hit 40 times with an Average Skip of 191 games. The is due (past due) by 129 Games.
235 has missed 25 and hit 49 times with an Average Skip of 156 games. The is due (past due) by 131 Games.
069 has missed 4 and hit 56 times with an Average Skip of 136 games. The is due (past due) by 132 Games.
489 has missed 99 and hit 33 times with an Average Skip of 231 games. The is due (past due) by 132 Games.
458 has missed 8 and hit 54 times with an Average Skip of 141 games. The is due (past due) by 133 Games.
077 has missed 344 and hit 16 times with an Average Skip of 477 games. The is due (past due) by 133 Games.
136 has missed 15 and hit 51 times with an Average Skip of 150 games. The is due (past due) by 135 Games.
068 has missed 37 and hit 44 times with an Average Skip of 173 games. The is due (past due) by 136 Games.
359 has missed 34 and hit 44 times with an Average Skip of 173 games. The is due (past due) by 139 Games.
123 has missed 38 and hit 43 times with an Average Skip of 177 games. The is due (past due) by 139 Games.
455 has missed 165 and hit 25 times with an Average Skip of 305 games. The is due (past due) by 140 Games.
115 has missed 123 and hit 29 times with an Average Skip of 263 games. The is due (past due) by 140 Games.
014 has missed 30 and hit 45 times with an Average Skip of 170 games. The is due (past due) by 140 Games.
269 has missed 21 and hit 47 times with an Average Skip of 162 games. The is due (past due) by 141 Games.
566 has missed 239 and hit 20 times with an Average Skip of 381 games. The is due (past due) by 142 Games.
067 has missed 23 and hit 46 times with an Average Skip of 166 games. The is due (past due) by 143 Games.
259 has missed 43 and hit 41 times with an Average Skip of 186 games. The is due (past due) by 143 Games.
469 has missed 69 and hit 36 times with an Average Skip of 212 games. The is due (past due) by 143 Games.
368 has missed 28 and hit 44 times with an Average Skip of 173 games. The is due (past due) by 145 Games.
027 has missed 10 and hit 47 times with an Average Skip of 162 games. The is due (past due) by 152 Games.
056 has missed 23 and hit 43 times with an Average Skip of 177 games. The is due (past due) by 154 Games.
244 has missed 137 and hit 26 times with an Average Skip of 293 games. The is due (past due) by 156 Games.
478 has missed 5 and hit 47 times with an Average Skip of 162 games. The is due (past due) by 157 Games.
189 has missed 65 and hit 34 times with an Average Skip of 224 games. The is due (past due) by 159 Games.
567 has missed 2 and hit 47 times with an Average Skip of 162 games. The is due (past due) by 160 Games.
088 has missed 263 and hit 18 times with an Average Skip of 424 games. The is due (past due) by 161 Games.
468 has missed 4 and hit 46 times with an Average Skip of 166 games. The is due (past due) by 162 Games.
388 has missed 259 and hit 18 times with an Average Skip of 424 games. The is due (past due) by 165 Games.
888 has missed 380 and hit 14 times with an Average Skip of 545 games. The is due (past due) by 165 Games.
079 has missed 26 and hit 40 times with an Average Skip of 191 games. The is due (past due) by 165 Games.
025 has missed 36 and hit 38 times with an Average Skip of 201 games. The is due (past due) by 165 Games.
349 has missed 0 and hit 45 times with an Average Skip of 170 games. The is due (past due) by 170 Games.
124 has missed 12 and hit 42 times with an Average Skip of 182 games. The is due (past due) by 170 Games.
011 has missed 147 and hit 24 times with an Average Skip of 318 games. The is due (past due) by 171 Games.
344 has missed 230 and hit 19 times with an Average Skip of 402 games. The is due (past due) by 172 Games.
557 has missed 121 and hit 26 times with an Average Skip of 293 games. The is due (past due) by 172 Games.
678 has missed 1 and hit 43 times with an Average Skip of 177 games. The is due (past due) by 176 Games.
199 has missed 78 and hit 30 times with an Average Skip of 254 games. The is due (past due) by 176 Games.
135 has missed 55 and hit 33 times with an Average Skip of 231 games. The is due (past due) by 176 Games.
036 has missed 7 and hit 41 times with an Average Skip of 186 games. The is due (past due) by 179 Games.
033 has missed 90 and hit 28 times with an Average Skip of 272 games. The is due (past due) by 182 Games.
004 has missed 99 and hit 27 times with an Average Skip of 283 games. The is due (past due) by 184 Games.
169 has missed 15 and hit 38 times with an Average Skip of 201 games. The is due (past due) by 186 Games.
058 has missed 47 and hit 32 times with an Average Skip of 238 games. The is due (past due) by 191 Games.
114 has missed 113 and hit 25 times with an Average Skip of 305 games. The is due (past due) by 192 Games.
558 has missed 166 and hit 21 times with an Average Skip of 363 games. The is due (past due) by 197 Games.
237 has missed 49 and hit 31 times with an Average Skip of 246 games. The is due (past due) by 197 Games.
029 has missed 32 and hit 33 times with an Average Skip of 231 games. The is due (past due) by 199 Games.
779 has missed 130 and hit 23 times with an Average Skip of 332 games. The is due (past due) by 202 Games.
667 has missed 64 and hit 28 times with an Average Skip of 272 games. The is due (past due) by 208 Games.
488 has missed 83 and hit 26 times with an Average Skip of 293 games. The is due (past due) by 210 Games.
445 has missed 28 and hit 32 times with an Average Skip of 238 games. The is due (past due) by 210 Games.
002 has missed 107 and hit 24 times with an Average Skip of 318 games. The is due (past due) by 211 Games.
166 has missed 106 and hit 24 times with an Average Skip of 318 games. The is due (past due) by 212 Games.
099 has missed 189 and hit 19 times with an Average Skip of 402 games. The is due (past due) by 213 Games.
677 has missed 59 and hit 28 times with an Average Skip of 272 games. The is due (past due) by 213 Games.
039 has missed 22 and hit 32 times with an Average Skip of 238 games. The is due (past due) by 216 Games.
277 has missed 77 and hit 26 times with an Average Skip of 293 games. The is due (past due) by 216 Games.
377 has missed 33 and hit 30 times with an Average Skip of 254 games. The is due (past due) by 221 Games.
899 has missed 91 and hit 24 times with an Average Skip of 318 games. The is due (past due) by 227 Games.
007 has missed 88 and hit 24 times with an Average Skip of 318 games. The is due (past due) by 230 Games.
889 has missed 100 and hit 23 times with an Average Skip of 332 games. The is due (past due) by 232 Games.
669 has missed 30 and hit 29 times with an Average Skip of 263 games. The is due (past due) by 233 Games.
788 has missed 98 and hit 23 times with an Average Skip of 332 games. The is due (past due) by 234 Games.
022 has missed 341 and hit 13 times with an Average Skip of 587 games. The is due (past due) by 246 Games.
116 has missed 174 and hit 18 times with an Average Skip of 424 games. The is due (past due) by 250 Games.
066 has missed 41 and hit 26 times with an Average Skip of 293 games. The is due (past due) by 252 Games.
337 has missed 50 and hit 25 times with an Average Skip of 305 games. The is due (past due) by 255 Games.
266 has missed 116 and hit 20 times with an Average Skip of 381 games. The is due (past due) by 265 Games.
225 has missed 17 and hit 26 times with an Average Skip of 293 games. The is due (past due) by 276 Games.
008 has missed 13 and hit 26 times with an Average Skip of 293 games. The is due (past due) by 280 Games.
335 has missed 143 and hit 18 times with an Average Skip of 424 games. The is due (past due) by 281 Games.
688 has missed 11 and hit 26 times with an Average Skip of 293 games. The is due (past due) by 282 Games.
255 has missed 78 and hit 21 times with an Average Skip of 363 games. The is due (past due) by 285 Games.
599 has missed 46 and hit 23 times with an Average Skip of 332 games. The is due (past due) by 286 Games.
448 has missed 5 and hit 26 times with an Average Skip of 293 games. The is due (past due) by 288 Games.
227 has missed 86 and hit 20 times with an Average Skip of 381 games. The is due (past due) by 295 Games.
339 has missed 67 and hit 21 times with an Average Skip of 363 games. The is due (past due) by 296 Games.
444 has missed 209 and hit 15 times with an Average Skip of 509 games. The is due (past due) by 300 Games.
226 has missed 45 and hit 21 times with an Average Skip of 363 games. The is due (past due) by 318 Games.
556 has missed 2 and hit 23 times with an Average Skip of 332 games. The is due (past due) by 330 Games.
119 has missed 68 and hit 19 times with an Average Skip of 402 games. The is due (past due) by 334 Games.
447 has missed 44 and hit 20 times with an Average Skip of 381 games. The is due (past due) by 337 Games.
006 has missed 60 and hit 19 times with an Average Skip of 402 games. The is due (past due) by 342 Games.
399 has missed 0 and hit 22 times with an Average Skip of 347 games. The is due (past due) by 347 Games.
334 has missed 29 and hit 20 times with an Average Skip of 381 games. The is due (past due) by 352 Games.
133 has missed 6 and hit 21 times with an Average Skip of 363 games. The is due (past due) by 357 Games.
001 has missed 184 and hit 14 times with an Average Skip of 545 games. The is due (past due) by 361 Games.
559 has missed 1 and hit 20 times with an Average Skip of 381 games. The is due (past due) by 380 Games.
288 has missed 40 and hit 18 times with an Average Skip of 424 games. The is due (past due) by 384 Games.
577 has missed 14 and hit 19 times with an Average Skip of 402 games. The is due (past due) by 388 Games.
668 has missed 54 and hit 17 times with an Average Skip of 449 games. The is due (past due) by 395 Games.
699 has missed 24 and hit 18 times with an Average Skip of 424 games. The is due (past due) by 400 Games.
778 has missed 176 and hit 13 times with an Average Skip of 587 games. The is due (past due) by 411 Games.
144 has missed 12 and hit 18 times with an Average Skip of 424 games. The is due (past due) by 412 Games.
477 has missed 42 and hit 16 times with an Average Skip of 477 games. The is due (past due) by 435 Games.
005 has missed 126 and hit 13 times with an Average Skip of 587 games. The is due (past due) by 461 Games.
055 has missed 72 and hit 14 times with an Average Skip of 545 games. The is due (past due) by 473 Games.
228 has missed 3 and hit 16 times with an Average Skip of 477 games. The is due (past due) by 474 Games.
113 has missed 46 and hit 13 times with an Average Skip of 587 games. The is due (past due) by 541 Games.
000 has missed 43 and hit 12 times with an Average Skip of 636 games. The is due (past due) by 593 Games.
999 has missed 267 and hit 8 times with an Average Skip of 954 games. The is due (past due) by 687 Games.
555 has missed 22 and hit 10 times with an Average Skip of 763 games. The is due (past due) by 741 Games.
111 has missed 188 and hit 8 times with an Average Skip of 954 games. The is due (past due) by 766 Games.
777 has missed 119 and hit 8 times with an Average Skip of 954 games. The is due (past due) by 835 Games.
222 has missed 593 and hit 5 times with an Average Skip of 1526 games. The is due (past due) by 933 Games.
333 has missed 1137 and hit 3 times with an Average Skip of 2543 games. The is due (past due) by 1406 Games.
Entry #32

Campaign Trail

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the man.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit heaven."

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning...... Today you voted

Entry #31

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

Note; This is something I stumbled across by accident. I do not know if the comments noted are fact or fiction. If anyone knows that something is incorrect, please feel free to notate the correction

Tomb of the  Unknown Soldier


1. How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the tomb  of the Unknowns and why? 
      21 steps. It alludes to the twenty-one gun salute, which is the highest honor given any military or foreign  dignitary.
..
2. How long does he hesitate after his about face to begin his return walk and why?
      21 seconds for the same reason as answer number 1
..
3. Why are his gloves wet?
      His gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his grip on the rifle.
..
4. Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all the time and if not, why not?
      He carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb.
After his  march across the path, he executes an about face and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder.
..
5. How often are the guards changed?
    Guards are changed every thirty minutes, twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year.
..
6. What are the physical traits of the guard limited to?
    For a person to apply for guard duty at the tomb, he must be between 5' 10" and 6' 2" tall and his waist size cannot exceed 30." Other requirements of the Guard: They must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty for the rest of their lives. They cannot swear in public for the rest of their lives and  cannot disgrace the uniform {fighting} or the tomb in any way. After two years, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn. The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin.

      The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat and cold from their feet. There are metal heel plates that extend to the top of the shoe in order to make the loud click as they come to a halt. There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform. Guards dress for duty
in front of a full-length mirror.
 
      The first six months of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone, nor watch TV.  All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery . A guard must memorize who they are and where they are interred. Among the notables are: President Taft, Joe E. Lewis {the boxer} and Medal of Honor winner Audie Murphy, {the most decorated soldier of WWII} of Hollywood fame.
 
      Every guard spends five hours a day getting his uniforms ready for guard duty.
..
  ETERNAL REST GRANT THEM O LORD, AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM. 
      In 2003 as Hurricane Isabelle was approaching  Washington ,  DC , our  US Senate/House took 2 days off with anticipation of the storm. On the ABC evening news, it was  reported that because of the dangers from the hurricane, the military  members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier were given permission to suspend the assignment. They respectfully declined the offer, "No way, Sir!"  Soaked to the skin, marching in the pelting  rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding the Tomb was not just an  assignment, it was the highest honor that can be afforded to a serviceperson. The tomb has been patrolled continuously, 24/7, since 1930. 
..
God Bless and keep them.

Entry #30

Interesting Observations

* I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

* Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

* The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

* Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

* There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

* Life is sexually transmitted.

* Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

* The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

* Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

* Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

* Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

* Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

* All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

* In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

* How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

* Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

* Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."

* Why is the light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

* If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

* Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

* Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

* If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

* If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

* Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

* Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head out the window?

* Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Entry #29

New Statue

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."

She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.

"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."

"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too."

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."

 
Entry #28

Strange Quotes

Crowded elevator always smell different to midget.

Dumb man climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs.

Don't drink and park - accidents cause people.

State of pregnancy exist when woman takes seriously something poked in fun.

Baseball all wrong -- man with four balls cannot walk.

House without toilet is uncanny.

Man trapped in brothel get jerked around.

Man's wife his better half, his mistress his better whole.

Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.

It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.

Man who cut self while shaving, lose face.

Man who eats photo of father, soon spitting-image of father.

Man who lay woman on ground gets piece on earth.

Man who take sleeping pill and laxative on the same night will wake up in deep s h i t.

Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get tone of A flat miner.

Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters in his own hands.

Wise man never play leapfrog with unicorn.

Man who walk in middle of road get run over by bus.

Wife not part of furniture, until screwed on bed.

Woman laid in tomb may soon become mummy.

Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.

Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.

Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding bag.

Man who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam.

Don't sweat the petty stuff ... and don't pet the sweaty stuff.

Woman who wear jockstrap have make believe ballroom.

Woman who slides down banister makes monkey shine.

Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.

Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out.

Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for Joy

Entry #27

Political Motivation

I realize that by now, most of you who read this were assuming to see something funny and/or entertaining. I apologize in advance.

 

First, I am typically not one to be telling folks they should go vote. Truth be told, the only reason I even registered to vote (9 years ago) was because my Wife threatened me (hey, when the wife threatens to hold out, I do as I am told, occasionally). Today, I encourage everyone to vote. That includes not only the Republicans (stop counting your money, it’s not going anywhere, oh wait, unless the Democrats win, but that’s a different issue), but also the Libertarians (if they can stop smoking long enough to look past their noses) and yeah, you too Democrats (ok, so we are not all perfect). (pssst…your suppose to at least smile now)

 

In Georgia, more so then in regards to who is running is the matter of Imminent Domain. The revision is not as stringent as it needs to be, but perhaps it will help reduce the abuse several Cities are attempting to do with the current law.

 

I hope that it basically doesn’t matter what political view you have, but together, we must put some restraint upon the State. The Government, no matter if it is local, state or federal, should never ever be allowed the right to take somebody’s hard earned property and turn it over to a developer for the sole reason of increasing their local tax base. Because the only one who profits is the Developer when it is all said and done.

 

Sometimes, I think we all forget, this is supposed to be a Government for the People and by the People. And sometimes, I think the Politicians need to be reminded of that. So even if you write in Mickey Mouse in place of the candidate, go vote at least for the Laws that are going to impact your way of life.

 

Take care and have fun folks.

Entry #26

The Pope and The Jew

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert or leave Italy.

There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal.

He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community.

If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy.

If the Pope won, they would have to leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged but wise Rabbi, Moishe, to represent them in the debate.

Rabbi Moishe, however refused, saying it was no use and the Jews might as well start packing.

The people were distraught.

Out of the weeping and wailing, a voice was heard. It was Yakel saying "I will do it".

The people said "you Yakel? you are just a dumb schmuck. How could you, who cannot even read the Torah, face the pope?"

"It is either me or move," replied Yakel.

So the people agreed.

However, as Yakel spoke no Italian and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they all agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate.

On the chosen day, the Pope and Yakel sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Yakel looked back and raised one finger.

Next the Pope waved his finger around his head. Yakel pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope then brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine. Yakel pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared that he was beaten, that Yakel was too clever and that the Jews could stay.

Later, the Cardinals met with the Pope, asking what had happened.

The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity.

He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there is still only one God common to both our beliefs.

"Then, I waved my finger to show him that God was all around us.

He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.

"I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins.

He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin.

He had me beaten and I could not continue."

Meanwhile, the delirious Jewish community was gathered around Yakel.

What happened?" they asked.

"Well," said Yakel, "First he said to me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I said to him, 'Up yours.'

"Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I said to him, 'Mr. Pope, we're staying right here.' "

"And then what?" asked a woman.

"Who knows?" said Yakel. "He took out his lunch so I took out mine."

Oy veh...

Entry #25

Gators & Politicians

Two gators were sitting at the side of the swamp near Washington , DC .

The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you kin be so much bigger n me. We're the same age, we was the same size as kids. I just don't get it."

Well," said the big gator, "What you been eatin boy?"

"Politicians, same as you," replied the small gator.

"Hmm. Well, where you been catchin' em?"

"Down to the side of th e swamp near the parkin lot by the Capitol."

"Same here. Hmm. How do you catch 'em?"

"Well, I crawls up under one of them Lexus and wait fer one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab 'em on the leg, shake the out of 'em, and eat 'em!"

"Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. You ain't gettin' any real nourishment. See, by the time you get done shakin' the out of a Politician, there ain't nothin' left but an a*****e and a briefcase."

Entry #24

If the World only had 100 People

THE WHOLE WORLD AS 100 PEOPLE

Shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look like this:

There would be:

57 Asians

21 Europeans

14 from the Western Hemisphere(north& south)

8 Africans

52 would be female

48 would be male

70 would be non white, 30 white

70 would be non Christian, 30 would be Christian

89 would be heterosexual, 11 homosexual

59% of the entire world's wealth would be in the hands of only 6 people & all 6 would be citizens of the United States

80 would live in sub standard housing

70 would be unable to read

50 would suffer from malnutrition

1 would be near death, 1 would be near birth

only 1 would have a college education

1 would own a computer

Entry #23

Dear Wife/Ex-Husband (to be)

Dear Wife

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good.

I’ve been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn’t notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.

You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.

You don’t tell me you love me anymore, you don’t want sex anymore or anything. You’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore, whatever the case is, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband

P. S. Don’t try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving to West Virginia together! Have a great life!



Dear Ex-Husband:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It’s true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.

I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn’t work.

I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, the first thing that came to mind was “You look just like a girl” but my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say anything nice.

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty-dollars from me that morning…and your sild boxers were $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out, so when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica.

But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted.

My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won’t get a dime from me…so take care.

Signed: Rich As Hell and free!

P. S. I don’t know if I ever told you this but Carla, my sister, was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.

Entry #22

A Drunk Man Can Be Fun

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband. "It's 3 o'clock in the morning."

He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push!" he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not. It is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring rain outside!"

His wife said, "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself! I think you should help him!"

The man gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello. Are you still there?"

"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes! Please!" comes the reply from the darkness.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk

Entry #21

Trick or treat

10 reasons why trick or treating is better than sex:

10) You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9) If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.

8) The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

7) You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.

6) It's O.K. when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.

5) Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.

4) If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.

3) It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2) Less guilt the morning after.

1) You can do the whole neighborhood

Entry #20
Page 7 of 9
Guest