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Would you leave your wife/husband?

Topic closed. 121 replies. Last post 9 years ago by guesser.

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Tenaj's avatar - michellea
Charlotte NC
United States
Member #17406
June 18, 2005
4053 Posts
Offline
Posted: February 26, 2008, 8:38 am - IP Logged

Some folks have great relationships, and to those of you I applaud you.

And then there are those of us married to psychotic spouses - which most of you will NEVER understand.

Here are some examples of my situation:

One of our cordless phones stopped working, my wife is SCREAMING at me to fix it - so loud the neighbors here her. The problem ?  She's standing 10 feet from me - inside the house. All windows and doors are shut.   The next problem: I didn't know the phone didn't work until said screaming commenced. Never mind the fact that we have 8 - count 'em - 8 OTHER phones in this house.

Two weeks ago it's -8 outside, and she's SCREAMING at me to go chip ice off the driveway.  Driveway is 22' wide and 100' long.  No way I'm doing it.  Yet she screams.

Problem ?   She's diagnosed as a manic depressant - and refuses to take her meds.   Oh - and I am the ONLY one she SCREAMS at. Never mind the fact that her kids do NOTHING to help except create messes and walk away (and both are in college).   She screams at ME to clean up THEIR messes.   I laugh and walk away.   I kid you not - they made a mess in the kitchen awhile back - I would not clean it up - the dishes sat in the sink for so long that some of them rusted and had to be thrown out.  (cake pans, etc.) and NO, I did not have any of the cake, etc.

So as I said, for those of you in good, christian, loving relationships, my hat is off to you, but don't pooh-pooh those  of us in 'bad deals' where, if we left, our spouses would not be able to survive.  We have very thick skin, and have learned to let things go in one ear and out the other, because the next day our spouse will be a TOTALLY different person. 

And there is always two sides to the marriage problem story. When people talk about their marital problems I just go "uh hum" because I don't live in that house to see what really goes on behind closed doors.

takeemtothebank

    spy153's avatar - maren

    United States
    Member #28409
    December 15, 2005
    1198 Posts
    Offline
    Posted: February 26, 2008, 9:12 am - IP Logged

    Guesser, I love you, but I have to agree with tenaj on this one.  Everytime my hubby and I fight, I come off looking like the bad guy.  But it is usually him who was the actual cause for the fight.  Unlike pac, if my hubby doesn't do something right when I yell at him about it, he NEVER does it.  Some things just don't get done because I am not willing to fight all the time with him about them.  My nerves are more important than those things.  You have to choose your battles wisely., otherwise you're battling all the time.

    And no, I would not leave my hubby if I won the lottery.  I have invested 15 years into this thing and we have stood by each other through some pretty tough times.  Being flat broke being one of them! Illnesses, injuries and downright stupidity being some others.  Ever see the movie Mr.  and Mrs. Smith?  Yes, it's been something like that at times. 

    voir-vous dans mes reves!Cool

      JackpotWanna's avatar - squiz

      United States
      Member #4121
      March 23, 2004
      817 Posts
      Offline
      Posted: February 26, 2008, 9:54 am - IP Logged

      I see no reason for a divorce.  Most people will do whatever they wish after a major jackpot, married or unmarried.

        ThatScaryChick's avatar - x1MqPuM
        Idaho
        United States
        Member #56506
        November 21, 2007
        6537 Posts
        Offline
        Posted: February 26, 2008, 10:32 am - IP Logged

        And there is always two sides to the marriage problem story. When people talk about their marital problems I just go "uh hum" because I don't live in that house to see what really goes on behind closed doors.

        I Agree!

        "No one remembers the person who almost climbed the mountain, only the person who eventually gets to the top."

          Coin Toss's avatar - shape barbed.jpg
          Zeta Reticuli Star System
          United States
          Member #30470
          January 17, 2006
          10354 Posts
          Offline
          Posted: February 26, 2008, 11:42 pm - IP Logged

          You've got to love this tee shirt:

          Those who run the lotteries love it when players look for consistency in something that's designed not to have any.

          Lep

          There is one and only one 'proven' system, and that is to book the action. No matter the game, let the players pick their own losers.

            lottocalgal's avatar - Lottery-043.jpg
            CA
            United States
            Member #57222
            December 23, 2007
            587 Posts
            Offline
            Posted: February 26, 2008, 11:52 pm - IP Logged

            Ouch Coin,
            You lost some cool points on this one.


              United States
              Member #6388
              August 20, 2004
              3578 Posts
              Offline
              Posted: February 27, 2008, 12:03 am - IP Logged

              If you're that miserable, why don't you leave NOW?

              LOL So so soo True

                sirbrad's avatar - Lottery-062.jpg
                PA
                United States
                Member #22983
                October 6, 2005
                2226 Posts
                Offline
                Posted: February 27, 2008, 12:05 am - IP Logged

                I was never dumb enough to get married.

                  Clairvoyance's avatar - eye storm.jpg

                  United States
                  Member #26882
                  November 23, 2005
                  1404 Posts
                  Offline
                  Posted: February 27, 2008, 12:39 am - IP Logged

                  I was never dumb enough to get married.

                  I wouldn't call married people dumb. We are just adventurous!

                    tntea's avatar - Lottery-059.jpg

                    United States
                    Member #5344
                    June 30, 2004
                    23641 Posts
                    Offline
                    Posted: February 27, 2008, 11:41 am - IP Logged

                    Wow... After reading this post I realized I did hit the lottery..  "10-08-99" When I met my soul mate.

                    I would never dream of yelling at him.   (I raised my voice once when he was driving because he didn't see a car on right.)  Guess that doesn't count since it saved our lives.

                     

                    I don't recall him yelling at me

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                      sirbrad's avatar - Lottery-062.jpg
                      PA
                      United States
                      Member #22983
                      October 6, 2005
                      2226 Posts
                      Offline
                      Posted: February 27, 2008, 12:15 pm - IP Logged

                      Better not wait until then, otherwise they will claim half.

                        Tenaj's avatar - michellea
                        Charlotte NC
                        United States
                        Member #17406
                        June 18, 2005
                        4053 Posts
                        Offline
                        Posted: February 27, 2008, 12:29 pm - IP Logged

                        Wow... After reading this post I realized I did hit the lottery..  "10-08-99" When I met my soul mate.

                        I would never dream of yelling at him.   (I raised my voice once when he was driving because he didn't see a car on right.)  Guess that doesn't count since it saved our lives.

                         

                        I don't recall him yelling at me

                        And I'll wager that he's not your first marriage either and your grand kids are probably older than your marriage to him.  How many times did it take you to get it right?  huh? You would have left your first husband without a jackpot.  Tell us again about that first husband. 

                        Was he your soulmate Jackpot or just a boxed.   

                        Just keeping it real, tntea.

                        takeemtothebank

                          tntea's avatar - Lottery-059.jpg

                          United States
                          Member #5344
                          June 30, 2004
                          23641 Posts
                          Offline
                          Posted: February 27, 2008, 12:40 pm - IP Logged

                          For the same reason I don't eat strawberry ice cream everytime I get the urge for sweets...lol

                          LOL  You crack me up pacattack

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                            tntea's avatar - Lottery-059.jpg

                            United States
                            Member #5344
                            June 30, 2004
                            23641 Posts
                            Offline
                            Posted: February 27, 2008, 12:48 pm - IP Logged

                            Some folks have great relationships, and to those of you I applaud you.

                            And then there are those of us married to psychotic spouses - which most of you will NEVER understand.

                            Here are some examples of my situation:

                            One of our cordless phones stopped working, my wife is SCREAMING at me to fix it - so loud the neighbors here her. The problem ?  She's standing 10 feet from me - inside the house. All windows and doors are shut.   The next problem: I didn't know the phone didn't work until said screaming commenced. Never mind the fact that we have 8 - count 'em - 8 OTHER phones in this house.

                            Two weeks ago it's -8 outside, and she's SCREAMING at me to go chip ice off the driveway.  Driveway is 22' wide and 100' long.  No way I'm doing it.  Yet she screams.

                            Problem ?   She's diagnosed as a manic depressant - and refuses to take her meds.   Oh - and I am the ONLY one she SCREAMS at. Never mind the fact that her kids do NOTHING to help except create messes and walk away (and both are in college).   She screams at ME to clean up THEIR messes.   I laugh and walk away.   I kid you not - they made a mess in the kitchen awhile back - I would not clean it up - the dishes sat in the sink for so long that some of them rusted and had to be thrown out.  (cake pans, etc.) and NO, I did not have any of the cake, etc.

                            So as I said, for those of you in good, christian, loving relationships, my hat is off to you, but don't pooh-pooh those  of us in 'bad deals' where, if we left, our spouses would not be able to survive.  We have very thick skin, and have learned to let things go in one ear and out the other, because the next day our spouse will be a TOTALLY different person. 

                             am very sorry to hear about your situation.

                            I hope she decides to med herself for you and the children.

                            I ex - daughter in law was a screamer.   She was very pleasant to the family members but behind closed doors she gave my son hell.  I didn't believe it until her mother told me it was true.

                            Sometimes when someone is hurting from an illness, they take it out on the one they love the most.

                            I am glad you do not give into her screams, yells and demands.  That would driver you over the edge completely.

                            I hated my son getting a divorce.  They have two young children who had to readjust.  Even though they don't hear her screaming at their dad. The screaming continues with her new husband.  I got an opportunity to hear it one afternoon at the shop.  They both stop by and when I went out to get my granddaughter from the vehicle they were screaming at one another.  I took the children inside.  The hubby went off walking and she came in asking me to watch the children for a little bit.  She drove off to find him.  They came back in as if nothing had happened.  That worries me that the grandchildren has to hear all of this.

                            Prayers are with you and your family.

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                              tntea's avatar - Lottery-059.jpg

                              United States
                              Member #5344
                              June 30, 2004
                              23641 Posts
                              Offline
                              Posted: February 27, 2008, 12:55 pm - IP Logged

                              Guesser, I love you, but I have to agree with tenaj on this one.  Everytime my hubby and I fight, I come off looking like the bad guy.  But it is usually him who was the actual cause for the fight.  Unlike pac, if my hubby doesn't do something right when I yell at him about it, he NEVER does it.  Some things just don't get done because I am not willing to fight all the time with him about them.  My nerves are more important than those things.  You have to choose your battles wisely., otherwise you're battling all the time.

                              And no, I would not leave my hubby if I won the lottery.  I have invested 15 years into this thing and we have stood by each other through some pretty tough times.  Being flat broke being one of them! Illnesses, injuries and downright stupidity being some others.  Ever see the movie Mr.  and Mrs. Smith?  Yes, it's been something like that at times. 

                              I agree you have to choose your battle.

                               

                              There is a secret to having a conversation with no arguments.

                              NEVER>>. I Repeat NEVER>>>>EVER>>>> NEVER

                              Start a sentence off with the word "YOU"  Or "BUT"....

                              Those are NO NO's....

                              Even if you are talking to your spouse, your child, your boss, your neighbor, anyone... NEVER do this.  Try it and see how easy your life becomes.

                              You need something done...

                              Then say that.... "I need the car moved."   Not,  "You need to move the car."

                               

                              You know what "but" means.. Right?

                              Beyond the Underlying Truth... Think about that...

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