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Would you leave your wife/husband?

Topic closed. 121 replies. Last post 9 years ago by guesser.

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justxploring's avatar - villiarna
Wandering Aimlessly
United States
Member #25360
November 5, 2005
4461 Posts
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Posted: March 31, 2008, 6:08 pm - IP Logged

Rubberbandman writes:  It seems as if many women not just you, have a problem with a "socially experienced" man, granted it's a little indifferent that he "gets around" but as the old saying goes, "Don't hate the player, Hate the game."   

 

If I understand correctly what you mean by "socially experienced" you are actually insulting the men, not the women.  Seems to me that you assume the men who go out of their way to do nice things for a woman are either stupid, ugly or poor.  There are lots of wealthy, educated men who like to get their hands dirty or were just brought up to be polite.  I know a college professor who became a builder because he liked it more.  He also made a lot more money (at least a few years ago!)  A also know a man who was a high 6 figure mortgage broker for Wells Fargo & became a plumber.  Not everyone likes putting on a starched shirt.  I don't think it has much to do with social experience.  I won't get another member involved in this silly discussion, but one of the most creative & interesting writers on this board is in the handyman business and although I've never met him, I bet he knocks a lady's socks off.   

    psykomo's avatar - animal shark.jpg

    United States
    Member #4877
    May 30, 2004
    5118 Posts
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    Posted: March 31, 2008, 6:28 pm - IP Logged

    Vote for Hill & Bill>>>>>>>o!o

    DON't >>>>>>>>>>>FORGET to STAND by UR MAN >>>>>>>>>>

    WHEN thing's<<<<<<GET ........."ROUGH" ..............little girl'ssssss

    LIKE D >>>>>>>>>>>AMERICAN EXPRE$$$$$$$

    vote for Hill>>>she is SMART!

    LOL

    PSYKOMO

      ArtVandalay's avatar - 3237774708 dd3351ee2c_m.jpg
      Arizona
      United States
      Member #52803
      June 10, 2007
      88 Posts
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      Posted: March 31, 2008, 6:47 pm - IP Logged

      I find this post rather amusing, but then again I think it says a lot about the state of marriage relationships in this country.  First of all, I'm not married, never have been, and probably never will be.  Let's just say that I prefer my own company.

      To those of you who have great marriages and especially those of you who feel that you're with your "Soul Mates", I applaud you, and I envy you.  Consider yourselves very lucky, perhaps very blessed in life.

      Most guys that I know are "content" in their marriages, but I'm not sure if they are all that happy.  And most likely their wives feel the same way about the marriage and their husbands.  The joke that I most often hear with the guys that I work with is that if he won the lottery he'd tell his wife, "Pack your bags, honey, I just won the lottery!"  And then the wife says, "That's great honey, where are we going!?"  And then the husband says, "I'm not going anywhere, but you've got to go".  I guess that the joke is that the husband is "trading up" or "trading out".  Of course the reality may be a lot different.

      Henry Daivd Thoreau once said "Most men live their lives in quiet desperation", and I honestly believe that this is true.  And I also think that the popularity of state run lotteries is proof of this statement.

      And by the way, my signature is a quote from Groucho Marx.  Wink

      Money can't buy you happiness, but I sure could afford the misery that it brings! Wink

        psykomo's avatar - animal shark.jpg

        United States
        Member #4877
        May 30, 2004
        5118 Posts
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        Posted: March 31, 2008, 7:17 pm - IP Logged

        Vote for Hill & Bill>>>>>>>o!o

        DON't >>>>>>>>>>>FORGET to STAND by UR MAN >>>>>>>>>>

        WHEN thing's<<<<<<GET ........."ROUGH" ..............little girl'ssssss

        LIKE D >>>>>>>>>>>AMERICAN EXPRE$$$$$$$

        vote for Hill>>>she is SMART!

        LOL

        PSYKOMO

        Gull's>>>>>don't beat around

        Deee>>>"BUSHIE's vote

        for HILL & Bill & the moniter>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>LIZZARD??????

        BUTT,.............I LIKE HER & I will stand-UP for HER >>>>>>>TOO^^

        LOL

        PSYKOMO

          tntea's avatar - Lottery-059.jpg

          United States
          Member #5344
          June 30, 2004
          23641 Posts
          Offline
          Posted: March 31, 2008, 8:17 pm - IP Logged

          Why would you leave your son just because of money ?

          Why would you not leave now ?

          For the record, I never said I'd leave my spouse in my original post, I just said she's nuts.

          I wish I had a son, I've had to settle for 3 cats... easily the best investment I ever made.

          You have three easy cats?  Consider yourself lucky.  I have a cat who thinks he is  boss.  He actually thinks he owns the house and is allowing us to live here.

          Sometimes, my hubby agrees with him.

               OLD/Vtrac   Lottery Bible         Double Warnings      Thumbs Up TN F34/F44

            psykomo's avatar - animal shark.jpg

            United States
            Member #4877
            May 30, 2004
            5118 Posts
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            Posted: March 31, 2008, 8:27 pm - IP Logged

            Gull's>>>>>don't beat around

            Deee>>>"BUSHIE's vote

            for HILL & Bill & the moniter>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>LIZZARD??????

            BUTT,.............I LIKE HER & I will stand-UP for HER >>>>>>>TOO^^

            LOL

            PSYKOMO

            stand-UP america^^^^^^^^^^^^

            moniter "L" is the best gull n dee^

            WORLD   ">>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>"

            PSYKOMO

              dphillips's avatar - littleuns
              Albuquerque, New Mexico
              United States
              Member #5128
              June 18, 2004
              377 Posts
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              Posted: March 31, 2008, 8:59 pm - IP Logged

              What am I hearing? Again, since this is not 1808 and whereby the social norms were dictated, most women married because of the societal expectations: family, community, or religion. Think about it: women have always worked, first, they were teachers -- albeit some of them were waiting to marry, quit teaching, bear fruit, take care of the family, and be contented: that was their lot!

              Fast forward -- it is 2008!  My, we have come along way, baby -- or have we?  To the men: men, why do you marry?  One of my male friends said it was because of compansionship. I told him, "get a dog, at least the dog won't talk back!"

              Is it for sex?  Gee, there are plently of women, giving it away -- for free, of course!  Since our technology has advanced (compare 1808 to present), men do not need women to cook for them, iron, clean, wash, or do the other mundane task usually attributed to the phrase: 'this is woman's work.'

              If you married to procreate, the world is overly populated, now. Look at the Asian population: too many people. Now, the US birth rate maybe declining and that is good: less people, less services. However, if it is a man's ego to germinate his seed for the purpose of, let us just say, having a male heir to carry his name, and in my opinion, that is somewhat selfish.

              Now, to the women. Women, you have more choices now than your parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents had. Bless you if you have a happy, fulfilling, and productive marriage: it takes two people to make that work, not one!  What message is women sending to this generation: get married and all is right with the world. Hell, no! That is not reality.

              In my opinion (and no statistics have been done), some women cannot stand to be alone because they lack self-confidence, a.k.a., low self-esteem; they are tired of being a bridesmaid instead of a bride; they adore the title (Mrs). in front of their name; they want to please family, friends, and the community; in their minds they are aging out -- 30s or 40 -- and their so-called biological time clock is running down (men don't give a crap about a biological time clock running down because they keep on partying); women are afraid of socializing (unlike men) because of the above perceived pressures.

              Therefore, if a man or a woman is not happy with himself or herself, no marriage can be successful because some men and some women (although they will not admit it) marry because they want someone else to make them happy. Marriage is not a guarantee of happiness, if it were, there would not be any divorces!

              Nevertheless, if women are foolish to marry and men benefit from their need to be accepted and loved (love yourselves, women), then women should not complain if their marriage does not work. Remember, Princess Diana?  If the rich and famous (they have money, prestige, name recognition) are divorcing, what makes the average Joe and Jane think they might have a go at it, especially when most marriages fail for two reasons: lack of communication and money problems.

              Finally, as for me, I can do badly by myself.  I do not need help. If a man cannot complement our relationship (I do not need him for money -- mere companionship), I have absolutely no need for him. Hell, no, I do not want any children from a man, either. I love the company of men but that is where it ends.

              Finally, some people need to be realistic: there are some people in our society who should never be married, or for that matter, even dare have the audacity to have children because if those people were honest with themselves (a little introspection can go a long way: you do not need a therapist or a psychiatrist to tell you what you already know) -- people would come to the conclusion that... I would rather be alone and be happy, than to be with someone and be miserable.  Amen!

              See Ya!-- Bye, bye!  When you win, may you glow as brightly as theSun Smiley

                tntea's avatar - Lottery-059.jpg

                United States
                Member #5344
                June 30, 2004
                23641 Posts
                Offline
                Posted: March 31, 2008, 9:42 pm - IP Logged

                What am I hearing? Again, since this is not 1808 and whereby the social norms were dictated, most women married because of the societal expectations: family, community, or religion. Think about it: women have always worked, first, they were teachers -- albeit some of them were waiting to marry, quit teaching, bear fruit, take care of the family, and be contented: that was their lot!

                Fast forward -- it is 2008!  My, we have come along way, baby -- or have we?  To the men: men, why do you marry?  One of my male friends said it was because of compansionship. I told him, "get a dog, at least the dog won't talk back!"

                Is it for sex?  Gee, there are plently of women, giving it away -- for free, of course!  Since our technology has advanced (compare 1808 to present), men do not need women to cook for them, iron, clean, wash, or do the other mundane task usually attributed to the phrase: 'this is woman's work.'

                If you married to procreate, the world is overly populated, now. Look at the Asian population: too many people. Now, the US birth rate maybe declining and that is good: less people, less services. However, if it is a man's ego to germinate his seed for the purpose of, let us just say, having a male heir to carry his name, and in my opinion, that is somewhat selfish.

                Now, to the women. Women, you have more choices now than your parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents had. Bless you if you have a happy, fulfilling, and productive marriage: it takes two people to make that work, not one!  What message is women sending to this generation: get married and all is right with the world. Hell, no! That is not reality.

                In my opinion (and no statistics have been done), some women cannot stand to be alone because they lack self-confidence, a.k.a., low self-esteem; they are tired of being a bridesmaid instead of a bride; they adore the title (Mrs). in front of their name; they want to please family, friends, and the community; in their minds they are aging out -- 30s or 40 -- and their so-called biological time clock is running down (men don't give a crap about a biological time clock running down because they keep on partying); women are afraid of socializing (unlike men) because of the above perceived pressures.

                Therefore, if a man or a woman is not happy with himself or herself, no marriage can be successful because some men and some women (although they will not admit it) marry because they want someone else to make them happy. Marriage is not a guarantee of happiness, if it were, there would not be any divorces!

                Nevertheless, if women are foolish to marry and men benefit from their need to be accepted and loved (love yourselves, women), then women should not complain if their marriage does not work. Remember, Princess Diana?  If the rich and famous (they have money, prestige, name recognition) are divorcing, what makes the average Joe and Jane think they might have a go at it, especially when most marriages fail for two reasons: lack of communication and money problems.

                Finally, as for me, I can do badly by myself.  I do not need help. If a man cannot complement our relationship (I do not need him for money -- mere companionship), I have absolutely no need for him. Hell, no, I do not want any children from a man, either. I love the company of men but that is where it ends.

                Finally, some people need to be realistic: there are some people in our society who should never be married, or for that matter, even dare have the audacity to have children because if those people were honest with themselves (a little introspection can go a long way: you do not need a therapist or a psychiatrist to tell you what you already know) -- people would come to the conclusion that... I would rather be alone and be happy, than to be with someone and be miserable.  Amen!

                AMEN

                And the Cows came home.

                     OLD/Vtrac   Lottery Bible         Double Warnings      Thumbs Up TN F34/F44

                  Avatar
                  Columbia City, Indiana
                  United States
                  Member #2978
                  December 9, 2003
                  381 Posts
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                  Posted: March 31, 2008, 10:14 pm - IP Logged

                  IN A HEARTBEAT.  Id be out the door at 11:01 PM.  So what would you do if you won the big jackpot?

                     I've read every post in this thread, and I guess I'm the only one who noticed that there are no qualifiers contained in this query.

                     Destined didn't ask if you'd leave your wife or husband if you won a jackpot; he merely asked if anyone here would leave his or her spouse.

                     I truly believe Destined started this thread on a note of dark humor but, as usual, most of us overreacted and chose to become offended. It's true; the members of LotteryPost.com are a family, of sorts. In fact, you could say that we're several families, depending on which clique you belong to. Members who profess that we're one, big happy family are deluding themselves, because too many of us have been banished from these sacred halls for offending the wrong member.

                     I've seen personal attacks become so vicious that potential members would flee in fear and disgust, never to return, never to post again. Most of the time the attacker had simply misunderstood what was written or, still more often, didn't bother to read the entire post before reacting to it. Sometimes a meek apology would follow, something like, "Sorry, Poster - I wrote my comments before I finished reading yours," or "My bad. I didn't realize that's what you were saying but, now that I've re-read your post, I agree with you."

                     I'm not pointing any fingers here; I'm guilty of my share of these offenses as well. The difference is, I've learned from my mistakes. Now, I'm very careful to read a member's post quite thoroughly before considering my own comments, assuming I'll even have any. However, some members here place the rest of us into one of three categories: 1). People they like and usually agree with; 2). people they'll tolerate if they don't openly disagree, and 3). people who have no business taking up space on their planet.

                     I didn't post this to start or to continue an argument and, as I said, I'm not pointing any fingers. I'm only attempting to bring to your attention something I see as a serious problem. I realize that people are going to write comments which don't agree with my personal views. What many of you don't get is that I like it that way. I can't understand why some of you, whom I perceive to be very intelligent, thoughtful and eloquent authors, will fly off the handle and gnash your teeth just because someone says something you don't like or posts something with which you don't agree.

                     The purpose of a forum is discussion. If we all say the same things, if all of our fellow members agree with all the others, what is there to discuss? It's one thing to play the Devil's Advocate while making a point, but it's quite another to demean and humiliate the author of an idea or someone who took the time and trouble to respond to the topic of your thread. I like hearing comments from people who disagree with me, because it gives me a fresh perspective on the subject, another way of looking at things. This doesn't mean that I won't maintain my original position, but I might change my mind, provided the argument is compelling and supported with verifiable facts or data. I don't know everything, and the only way I can learn things I'm not familiar with is to be taught by those who already possess the knowledge.

                      Like Stephen Hawking, I like being proven wrong. Many 20th century physicists have contributed or accomplished more in this science than Hawking has, but he's still my favorite. He was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) in 1963, when he was just twenty-one years old. When the doctors told him of the ultimate and terrible consequences of his malady, he had only one question: "What about my mind?" He didn't care if his body wasted away; as long as his mind was intact, he believed he could lead a full and productive life, and he was correct. 

                     The point of the preceding paragraph is to illustrate an extreme example of someone who, through hard work, dedication to his chosen field and his sheer determination NOT to fail, made lemonade from a pretty big pile of crap. Mr. Hawking has his detractors, too, but when someone disagrees with him, he wants to know why he disagrees, and a lively discussion imminently follows. At different points during this discussion, things are discovered that were not previously known; theories are put forth, analyzed and mathematically proved or disproved, and if the math doesn't hold up, that theory is discarded without another thought; they don't hang on to an idea simply because they like to think it should work, or because it was their idea. Then, once one idea or theory has been thoroughly hashed out and ultimately dismissed as inviable, they move on to another theory or idea subjecting that one to the same careful scrutiny as all the others.

                     Regardless of our personal beliefs, whether they concern playing the lottery or any other subject, we owe it to each other to respond in a civil manner. Even if we don't like a certain member or members, we should never dismiss their ideas and opinions as invalid or ridiculous solely for that reason. To do so indicates a preference for ignorance over knowledge, and I know the members here at LP.com are much smarter than that. At least, I really, really hope they are ...

                  Come, Pinky; we must prepare for tomorrow night...

                  Jim

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                    NY
                    United States
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                    October 16, 2005
                    3474 Posts
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                    Posted: April 1, 2008, 1:41 am - IP Logged

                    " Destined didn't ask if you'd leave your wife or husband if you won a jackpot; he merely asked if anyone here would leave his or her spouse."

                    He may not have asked in the subject, but maybe you should go back and look at the post you quoted:

                    "Id be out the door at 11:01 PM.  So what would you do if you won the big jackpot? "

                    That sure looks like a qualifier about winning a "big jackpot" to me.

                      guesser's avatar - Lottery-017.jpg

                      United States
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                      June 16, 2006
                      1969 Posts
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                      Posted: April 1, 2008, 2:51 am - IP Logged

                      I'm not offended in the least bit.

                        guesser's avatar - Lottery-017.jpg

                        United States
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                        June 16, 2006
                        1969 Posts
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                        Posted: April 1, 2008, 2:57 am - IP Logged

                        Guesser writes:  I don't mean financially for the women, but I don't know many women at all that can fix a leaky faucet, replace a bad light switch, replace a furnace filter, reset a circuit breaker, clean out the gutters, or any other small things, therefore more women SEEK to be married, and that's only a very small part of the reason why.

                         

                        You're joking, right?  You really think women get married so they'll have a man who can clean out their gutters?  If I want my gutters cleaned out, I'll take Dulcolax.

                        You must know some very helpless or stupid women.  Who can't replace a furnace filter or reset a circuit breaker? 

                        BTW I have a leaky faucet right now.  The last thing that entered my mind was finding a husband although I can find lots of men who'd love to plug any leak I have.

                        I've read your posts for a long time and your view of women is very degrading.

                        Then put me on 'ignore' ?????

                        Don't read my postings ?????

                        You obviously didn't understand what I wrote - I didn't say women go find men that can do stuff, I said I don't know MANY women that can do that kind of stuff on their own.

                        In fact - read what is in your reply - the part where I said 'AND THAT'S ONLY A VERY SMALL PART OF THE REASON WHY'.

                        But you did bring up another pet peeve - people that can't read, or read and twist things around...

                         

                        PS - I AM the neighbor everyone calls on for help because I have the experience in a lot of household areas. You said it yourself - who can't replace a furnace filter or reset a circuit breaker ?   .... my reply is 3 of my 8 immediate neighbors.

                         

                        Your turn.

                          guesser's avatar - Lottery-017.jpg

                          United States
                          Member #41383
                          June 16, 2006
                          1969 Posts
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                          Posted: April 1, 2008, 3:04 am - IP Logged

                          You have three easy cats?  Consider yourself lucky.  I have a cat who thinks he is  boss.  He actually thinks he owns the house and is allowing us to live here.

                          Sometimes, my hubby agrees with him.

                          Had two, one died the day after Xmas, got another one from the Humane Society.

                          I am convinced when my Cats look at me all they see is a can opener.........  or something warm to lay against.

                            jarasan's avatar - new patrick.gif
                            Harbinger
                            D.C./MD.
                            United States
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                            July 30, 2006
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                            Posted: April 1, 2008, 7:04 pm - IP Logged

                            Jarasan, I agree with you.  Many times when I was working 60 hours a week I'd even hire someone to clean my house.  But what does this have to do with getting married?   If I want to find a man to fix something around the house, I just need to ask a neighbor.  I rent now, but when I owned a house, I would often call one of those handyman ads in the local paper.  It's hard for me to get someone to accept money, but I don't want to take advantage of another person.   Again, what does needing a handyman once in a while have to do with taking wedding vows? 

                            Sounds as if this is a white collar vs blue collar attitude.  One looks at helping a woman as a burden and the other seems to feel good that he can help a lady in need.  I grew up in a neighborhood where we all did stuff for each other. 

                            I doubt if there are too many people who are much weaker than I am.  If the wind blows I need to hold on so I don't end up in Kansas.  But the thought never crossed my mind to sleep with a man just to make doing chores a little simpler.

                            "One of my X's "

                            Why is it that when men have a lot of "Xs" they never wake up to the fact that maybe it's not the X but the Y who has the problem?  

                            I prefer the "O". You are an "O" until you become an "X" and that goes for all involved, there are no "Ys". JMO

                              justxploring's avatar - villiarna
                              Wandering Aimlessly
                              United States
                              Member #25360
                              November 5, 2005
                              4461 Posts
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                              Posted: April 2, 2008, 4:23 am - IP Logged

                              I prefer the "O". You are an "O" until you become an "X" and that goes for all involved, there are no "Ys". JMO

                              I was using a little play on words & talking about the male & female chromosomes.   Y usually represents the male.

                              Anyway, I prefer

                              XOXOXOXOXO