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You know you're a LP lotto player when:

Topic closed. 67 replies. Last post 8 years ago by Coin Toss.

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Dead_Aim's avatar - canstock2002989

United States
Member #6363
August 20, 2004
4049 Posts
Offline
Posted: June 21, 2008, 3:11 am - IP Logged

You know you're a LP lotto player when: you now look forward to that overseas trip your wife has been wanting to go on for years so you can start an off shore bank account and play online again. Wink

Don't Chase... Compare and Narrow

The Cheaper the Cost the Higher the Profit

Many Winners to You.

D_A

    justxploring's avatar - villiarna
    Wandering Aimlessly
    United States
    Member #25360
    November 5, 2005
    4461 Posts
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    Posted: June 21, 2008, 3:12 am - IP Logged

    I agree with Pac!  Some of the above replies are very funny!  (Jake, the elected officials line is priceless.)  Okay, I'll try to add a few, but I think you've all got this covered!   

    Your 2 children are named Lotto and Keno.

    Your wife goes into labor at 11:02 and you ask if she can wait until the end of the live drawing.

    A cop stops you and asks "Did you know you were doing 42 in a 35mph zone?  You drive off to play 4-2-3-5.

    You go to court and are convicted of a crime.  The judge gives you 20 years.  You ask if you can take it as a lump sum.

    Your veterinarian asks if your dog has been scratching.  You answer "Of course not.  He can't hold a quarter between his teeth." 

      Dead_Aim's avatar - canstock2002989

      United States
      Member #6363
      August 20, 2004
      4049 Posts
      Offline
      Posted: June 21, 2008, 3:40 am - IP Logged

      Your kids are flunking school because they are using lottery math on their homework and they keep telling the teacher that daddy said only the numbers 0 thru 9 are important.

      Don't Chase... Compare and Narrow

      The Cheaper the Cost the Higher the Profit

      Many Winners to You.

      D_A

        JonnyBgood07's avatar - Patriots logo1.jpg
        Connecticut
        United States
        Member #61623
        May 29, 2008
        20581 Posts
        Offline
        Posted: June 21, 2008, 3:58 pm - IP Logged

        I agree with Pac!  Some of the above replies are very funny!  (Jake, the elected officials line is priceless.)  Okay, I'll try to add a few, but I think you've all got this covered!   

        Your 2 children are named Lotto and Keno.

        Your wife goes into labor at 11:02 and you ask if she can wait until the end of the live drawing.

        A cop stops you and asks "Did you know you were doing 42 in a 35mph zone?  You drive off to play 4-2-3-5.

        You go to court and are convicted of a crime.  The judge gives you 20 years.  You ask if you can take it as a lump sum.

        Your veterinarian asks if your dog has been scratching.  You answer "Of course not.  He can't hold a quarter between his teeth." 

        LOL@ .."20 years lump sum thing.."

          Avatar
          Talking Rock, GA
          United States
          Member #60369
          April 15, 2008
          398 Posts
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          Posted: June 21, 2008, 4:11 pm - IP Logged

          You know you're a LP lotto player when you, shortly after graduating high school, play your friends' football, baseball, and basketball jersey numbers for Mega Millions. Big Grin

          I know that's true because.......[Ron White]I've seen me do it.[/Ron White] Razz

          A Gold account on Lottery Post:  $4.95

          A Millionaire Jumbo Bucks scratcher:  $20

          Airfare and hotel in March 2007 to see The Price Is Right before Bob Barker retired:  $600-something

          Winning something to get a trip to a district office:  Priceless Big Grin

            honey10's avatar - nw femaleelf.jpg

            Bahamas
            Member #1774
            July 1, 2003
            1349 Posts
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            Posted: June 21, 2008, 4:16 pm - IP Logged

            you know you're a LP lotto player when the only tv channels you watch is where the

            lotto drawing shows.Green laugh

              Coin Toss's avatar - shape barbed.jpg
              Zeta Reticuli Star System
              United States
              Member #30470
              January 17, 2006
              10344 Posts
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              Posted: June 21, 2008, 6:59 pm - IP Logged

              You've payed for your tickets with all coins- not because you didn't have bills but were trying to change your luck.

              Close to the drawing time and completely out of ideas to pick numbers, you went into a dollar store and bought two combination locks to use those numbers!

              You have notebooks of graph paper that you've modified to resemble your game's matrix.

              You have "lucky" pens or pencils that you use only to mark your playslips, and nothing else, ever.

              You've played your tickets in a store close to one of those nail salons. The nail salon has a Buddha statue in it and you've went in and rubbed your tickets on Buddha's belly.

              You've played a set of numbers and liked the way the looked so much that you turned the playslip upside down and played the same pattern on another block.

              Those who run the lotteries love it when players look for consistency in something that's designed not to have any.

              Lep

              There is one and only one 'proven' system, and that is to book the action. No matter the game, let the players pick their own losers.

                lottocalgal's avatar - Lottery-043.jpg
                CA
                United States
                Member #57222
                December 23, 2007
                587 Posts
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                Posted: June 21, 2008, 11:45 pm - IP Logged

                *You can hold your own in a discussion about trusts and annuities, with the boys from accounting. You work as a plumber.

                *You wonder why people look at you funny when you use phrases like "present value" & "future worth" when they "just want to borrow a lousy twenty bucks".

                *You know more about CDARS than the bank teller. The bank manager overhears & wants to know if you're looking for work.

                I like these TT,

                I was actually laughing at the last one.

                  lottocalgal's avatar - Lottery-043.jpg
                  CA
                  United States
                  Member #57222
                  December 23, 2007
                  587 Posts
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                  Posted: June 21, 2008, 11:54 pm - IP Logged

                  ***

                  You are a very YOUNG LP Lotto Player when.....

                  You have no idea what Vinyl albums are and LP has only one meaning.

                    sfilippo's avatar - skull
                    Oklahoma
                    United States
                    Member #33770
                    February 24, 2006
                    3146 Posts
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                    Posted: June 22, 2008, 9:52 am - IP Logged

                    You know you are a Lottery Player when someone yells. "FIRE!!!," in a crowded theater,

                    and you yell back the dream number for fire!

                    ===============================

                    I was blogging about the 7 year tribulation period possible starting later this year

                    and Jarasan commented on it with some pick 4 numbers. It was funny! Jarasan is definitely a Lottery player!

                    Smiley Steve

                      Sandra Dee's avatar - dandy
                      Bayonne
                      United States
                      Member #61147
                      May 13, 2008
                      129 Posts
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                      Posted: June 22, 2008, 2:34 pm - IP Logged

                      you know you're a LP lotto player when everyone around you consults their horoscopes you check the Mystical forum 

                                                                            when your system at work messes up and your first instinct is to write 'Todd' but ...

                                                                            when the new guy sounds just like psykomo and you're the only one that understands him

                      Dance

                        tntea's avatar - Lottery-059.jpg

                        United States
                        Member #5344
                        June 30, 2004
                        23641 Posts
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                        Posted: June 22, 2008, 9:24 pm - IP Logged

                        You play your VIN on your vehicle.

                        You play your utility account number

                        You play PB like it is Keno.

                        You play your purchase price.

                        You play your change price.

                        You have your grandkids to color the bubbles on the playslip.

                        You look at numbers on bar codes of products you are buying.

                        You play the calories you consume in one day.

                             OLD/Vtrac   Lottery Bible         Double Warnings      Thumbs Up TN F34/F44

                          djklaugh's avatar - Lottery-031.jpg
                          Portland,Oregon
                          United States
                          Member #14387
                          April 25, 2005
                          229 Posts
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                          Posted: June 22, 2008, 9:36 pm - IP Logged

                           You know you're a LP lotto player when:  You play numbers from the account numbers you have to work with all day

                                                                                             You know where the top 5 winning ticket sellers (stores) in your state are and have visited at least 3 of them

                                                                                             You think of driving around and watching license plates as your own personal RNG

                                                                                             You play house numbers, phone numbers, and even your kids social security numbers

                                                                                             You can name the top LP predictors for any particular game ... without looking it up 

                          Djklaugh

                            Some things have to be believed to be seen.

                          "I have not failed. I have just found ten thousand things that don't work".  Thomas Edison

                            ConstantlyB's avatar - chi
                            Wilson
                            United States
                            Member #54516
                            August 21, 2007
                            2802 Posts
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                            Posted: June 22, 2008, 11:46 pm - IP Logged

                            OMG!!! MY SIDES ARE HURTING.....I've got to admit...I'm hooked...addicted to the LP site!!!

                            because aaaalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll of you alllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.....are my kind of crazy!

                            "MAKE THAT MONEY YA'LL"

                            wisdom from Tyler Perry's Madea:"It doesn't matter what people call you....it's what you answer to."

                              Litebets27's avatar - power
                              Maryland
                              United States
                              Member #10465
                              January 14, 2005
                              6065 Posts
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                              Posted: June 23, 2008, 12:16 am - IP Logged

                              You know and everyone else knows that your a LP lottery player when some one in the lottery line yells out, "I wonder what played in Virginia today and you pull out your copy of todays result and yell back........###.

                               

                              You know that your a hooked LP lottery player when you find yourself racing home, breaking the speed limit to reach home in time to consult what played today, last month, last year on LP, do an extensive workout continue to go through the postings and look up to find...oh no it's almost time for the machines to shut down. Then your  racing to your favorite lottery store, breaking the speed limit......

                               

                              ...when your paying you bills and every number looks like a good number to play....or you look at the number and say to yourself, that just played in Florida.

                               

                              litebets

                              Feeling,  PRICELESS!!!Banana

                              Come on Jackpot!!!