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mikeintexas's Blog

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Today, 12:04 amThe Talking Spider

I had no more than got lathered up in the shower when I heard the phone ringing. Annoyed, I grabbed for my towel and dripped my way into the bedroom. As is often the case, as soon as I picked it up the line was dead.

Soap stinging my eyes, I pulled the towel towards my face and saw this:


"Oh, hello!" I said to the wolf spider.

(that's not entirely true, I screamed like a little girl and added a little bit to the puddle of water at my feet...but, this is my story, and I'm stickin' to it)

"Where'd you come from?" I asked.


"Aw, man." he said. "Hope you don't mind, but I needed a place to crash for a few days. I was stayin' at one of your neighbor's house, but I overheard her say she was gonna poison me!"

"Well," I replied. "I really don't want you staying here; I've had some trouble with some poisonous spiders and have been thinking of really nuking this place with some chemicals..." I trailed off, not wanting to insult him by speaking of the annihilation of some of his fellow species.


"You talkin' 'bout those Brown Recluse in your crawlspace?" he asked. "Man, don't mess with them, they won't hurt you as long as you don't let them bite you."

Duh, I thought.

He went on. " 'Sides that, you should catch their show with the Black Widows, they do a takeoff on West Side Story, only instead of Sharks and Jets, it's 'Fiddlebacks vs. Hourglasses'. Man, the dance numbers, all those legs..." .

"Nah," I told him. "I'm not much on off-off-Broadway stuff."

"I wouldn't take up much space." he pleaded. "I could sleep in your shoe...?"

I violently shook my head, shuddering at the thought.

"Aw, c'mon dude." he persisted.

Nope, I told him.

"You should use a little fabric softener next time you do a load of towels." he said, pouting at my refusal. I tried to explain to him about softener making them less absorbent, but he interrupted me:

"Say!" he exclaimed. "Wouldn't you like a talking spider around? Especially one as handsome as me, go on, get closer, tell me who I look like!!!"


Thinking to myself that I seldom have friends over and that the few friends I DO have come over WOULDN'T ever come over again if they saw a spider, and especially never again if they heard one speak, I politely looked him over and replied:

"Uh...Fidel Castro?"

"No, no, no!" he said impatiently with a wave of several legs. "Look at me from THIS angle." and with a clittering of tiny claws he shuffled around like a miniature Sherman tank, showing me his profile from the other side.

"George Clooney, right?" he declared. "When he's gotta beard, cantchoosee?"


I really couldn't see it; Dennis Miller, maybe, but George Clooney?
Entry #123
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June 14, 2019, 5:32 pmStop Talking to Weasels, Mr. President

Re-posting entire article from MOTUS A.D.;  I know I shouldn't have but it was too spot on,not to mention funny, to let any of my fellow conservatives miss a word.


 

Stop Talking to Pint Sized Weasels. The World Will Be a Better Place.

Today is the 73rd birthday of Very Special Genius, President Donald J. Trump. It’s also the 244th birthday of the U.S. Army. Coincidence? I think not.

Born to Serve

For his birthday the MSM tried to set PDJT up with Georgie Stephanopoulos as the delivery boy - in order to trigger the following montage of the MSM reacting to the setup.

CHRIS MATTHEWS: Stunning news tonight that President Trump has admitted now that he’s willing to take opposition research from a foreign country.

Hmmm. Is Britain a foreign country?

ANDERSON COOPER: He says it’s done all of the time, just normal opposition research, says President Trump. History says otherwise. It is not done all of the time or even some of the time. It’s not normal.

No, not normal for PDJT; he just said he’d consider it. Hillary did it. Is that not normal?

ALISYN CAMEROTA: He is willing to do it all over again. He has learned nothing.

Uh, Alisyn, he didn’t do it. He didn’t collude, remember? That was Hillary.

DAVID GERGEN: … so out of bounds, it was just unimaginable.

Remember this David? From the Washington Post, October 2017? Clinton campaign, DNC paid for research that led to Russia dossier. Some of us think that was “out of bounds,” “unimaginable.”

 TRACIE POTTS: … unamerican, treasonous and the very definition of collusion.

Then you think Hillary is unamerican, treasonous and guilty of collusion? Me too.

CHRIS CUOMO: This behavior is collusive behavior. “Hey, yeah, let’s work together. Give me what you have.”

Obama would never do that.

CHRIS LU: It’s foreign interference. It’s subversion of our democracy.

Obama would never subvert democracy

JAMES CLAPPER: Stunning and disturbing that the president would advocate the use of accepting information provided by a foreign country.

Yup. Nearly as stunning as a presidential candidate advocating and accepting information (and money) from a foreign country.

BARBARA BOXER: You cannot take anything from a foreign government period. End of quote.

Anything?” End quote.

So what the heck, let’s celebrate the President’s birthday along with FLOTUS Friday.

President Donald Trump and first lady Melania Trump greet Polish President Andrzej Duda and his wife Agata Kornhauser-Duda at the White HousePresident Donald Trump and first lady Melania Trump greet Polish President Andrzej Duda and his wife Agata Kornhauser-Duda at the White House

And have you ever seen two classier First Ladies?

Agata Kornhauser-Duda and Melania Trump

My birthday present for the President: a sincere recommendation that he stop talking to news weasels who are only half his size.

Image result for tiny george stephanopoulos

Entry #122
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June 4, 2019, 12:39 amGas Attack! (graphic video)

Weapon of a$$ destruction

Entry #121
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June 3, 2019, 1:03 pmSuperb Slinky Skills

Entry #120
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June 1, 2019, 7:11 pmAw!! Too Cute!

Just too cute.  Never thought I'd ever say something like that, but it's true.

;

Entry #119
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May 27, 2019, 8:21 pmShines the Name!


When I was a young boy I was introduced to Robert A. Heinlein's books by Mrs. Seitz, a gentle lady who became my very favorite teacher. I'm sure she was also a favorite of both of my sisters who also attended her classes.

It wasn't the first one I read, but my favorite "juvenile" Heinlein novel was Starship Troopers. The novel helped to shape my views on what a citizen owes to his country. (I should also say "her country" too, because Heinlein also influenced me as to the proper respect owed to women - not that my father did not as well.)

In Troopers, a young man, a rich and privileged boy named Juan "Johnny" Rico desires to earn his citizenship and enlists in what Heinlein envisioned the future Marines might become. When it became time to board the assault ship (the Roger Young) or to return to it from battle, the ship's loudspeakers would play "The Ballad of Roger Young" as a homing signal. RAH mentioned it several times in snippets "....shines the name, shines the name of Roger Young".

I was always curious about who Roger Young was, but couldn't find anything in the meager research resources available to me at that long-ago time. When I got a computer, it was one of the first things I researched.

This is what is on the very last page of Heinlein's classic novel:

Young, Rodger W., Private, 148th Infantry, 37th Infantry Division (the Ohio Buckeyes); born Tiffin, Ohio, 28 April 1918; died 31 July 1943, on the island of New Georgia, Solomons, South Pacific, while singlehandedly attacking and destroying an enemy machine-gun pillbox. His platoon had been pinned down by intense fire from this pillbox; Private Young was wounded in the first burst. He crawled toward the pillbox, was wounded a second time but continued to advance, firing his rifle as he did so. He closed on the pillbox, attacked and destroyed it with hand grenades, but in so doing he was wounded a third time and killed.

His bold and gallant action in the face of overwhelming odds enabled his teammates to escape without loss; he was awarded posthumously the Medal of Honor.


From a now-defunct R.A.H. fan site:

For Robert Heinlein, Rodger Young stood for that noblest of men--the soldier willing to put himself in harm's way for the sake of his people. Heinlein first mentions Young in 1952, when he recorded his piece for Edward R. Murrow's This I Believe show. Heinlein expands greatly on the theme in 1958 with Starship Troopers, a controversial novel which he freely admits having written in part to "glorify" the military. . .specifically the P.B.I., the Poor Bloody Infantry, the mudfoot who places his frail body between his loved home and war's desolation--but is rarely appreciated." In the story, Johnny Rico serves aboard the troop ship Rodger Young, and we have occasion to hear the boarding tocsin for that ship, a verse from Frank Loesser's "The Ballad of Rodger Young."

To the everlasting glory of the infantry
Shines the name, shines the name of Rodger Young

The Ballad of Rodger Young



He was an unlikely looking hero, huh? He looks more like Radar O'Reilly than Audie Murphy.

Just goes to show *me* that heroes come in all kinds.

Last Edited: May 27, 2019, 8:29 pm

Entry #118
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May 27, 2019, 8:08 pmA Surprise Tribute From Google

We know they won't acknowledge any Christian holidays, at least not in any religious context, but I've never known them to even give any type of patriotic tribute, either.   This was a surprise when I went to search a subject just now.

 

The "Taps" sound file was a nice addition.  Maybe they realize it's what they, Facebook and Twitter might be hearing for their own funerals* if they don't stop with their anti-Conservative bias.

*Metaphorically speaking, that is.

Last Edited: May 27, 2019, 8:10 pm

Entry #117
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May 24, 2019, 9:43 pmNancy say Huh?

Entry #116
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May 20, 2019, 1:52 pmThe Lesson

From my Blogger blog, about ten yrs. ago.  I was reminded of it after emailing back and forth with an L.P. friend about reading. 

(there's an "inside joke" about a link to another blog post I had made: "My Sister's Feet".  It still gets quite a few hits and it once had over a thousand visits when the search engines picked it up.  Besides my "Cast Away" movie posts, it and my post "Gay Irish Dwarfs" are the most visited.)

Click any pic for a larger view.


 

This statue is in front of the Pampa Lovett Memorial Library; it's one of a pair that were dedicated Jan. 9, 2005. (blog post about the other, Pioneer Woman)

Here is a closeup of the plaque on the base:

The statue was done by Don Ray of Channing and is named "The Lesson".

A closer look reveals the superb detail:


To me, the woman looks tired, but glad to take the time to help educate her young charge:


I like the expressions on both faces, but the one on the boy's seems to be a combination of love and trust, almost an amazement at what the woman had been reading to him.


The boy is barefoot, and the attention to detail by the sculptor is evident, even in a part that might be overlooked in favor of others.


(and no, I'm not trying for the unintentional hits that this blog received from "My Sister's Feet" )

Stepping around to the back of the statue shows more of the fine detail that normally wouldn't be seen...


...even down to the slingshot in the boy's rear pocket.


From the library's website:

Gift of R. L. Franklin: The sculptures are dedicated to all those women whose service to family, church, and community has brought and brings aspects of American life to what was so recently in historic perspective a dangerous and daunting land. Four women of such acumen and industry are: Virginia Green, Louise Franklin, Betty Henderson, Annie Buckler.

Last Edited: May 20, 2019, 1:56 pm

Entry #115
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May 16, 2019, 12:33 pmI'll Show You "Be Nice"!

Savage animals are among us.  This one got bail, can you believe that? 

With evidence like this, I'm not sure how a jury could fail to convict.  We shall see.

I'm not going to say anything more; I don't want to sound as savage as this young "woman" actually is. 

Entry #114
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May 5, 2019, 10:41 pmUsing the Alt Tag

Ever heard of the alt tag (sometimes also referred to as a "title tag")?  You may have noticed the option to use it when you insert an image into an LP blog or forum post.    Here's an example from my Blogger blog, a photo of a friend's mustang horse named "Ford".  ("Ford the Mustang", gettit?) Hover your cursor over the photo to see the description, often referred to as a "tooltip".

Ford the Mustang horse sticking out his tongue

They're not necessary, but if you have your own website or blog, it's a good idea to use the attribute.  Why?

From Yola.com (and I've used the title tag in the following link):  What is alt text, and why do your photos need it?

1. If images fails to load – If for any reason an image does not render on a web page, the alt tag will display in place. This means visitors to that web page understand what image should be there even though they are unable to see it.

2. For Search Engines – Search engines, such as Google and Bing regularly crawl web pages. It is easy for them to understand text copy on a page, however, images are difficult to read. This is where alt text comes to play. Alt text is used to describe to search engines what the image is showing, allowing search engines to give users better results when performing an image search.

Alt text is a great place to include your main keyword to improve your image search ranking for that term. However, it is important to use appropriate text that actually describes your image. You should not include keywords if they are not relevant to the image being displayed, and if it doesn’t describe the image. If you do this, it could do more harm than good and negatively affect your website’s SEO.

3. For the visually impaired – The visually impaired tend to use screen readers in order to browse web pages. These screen readers will identify and interpret what is being displayed on their screen. Alt text is needed to explain and describe to people using screen readers what is on your page. For this reason, it is important to convey contextual information that will explain the image in more detail.

What made me think about it was a thumbnail on a YouTube recommended video I saw last night.  The title of the vid was hilariously truncated, so I took a screenshot of it as well as the title tag that appeared when I placed my cursor on it:

YouTube thumbnail

In this case, the title tag added the complete title of the video...thank goodness.

Here's the video if you want to watch it.  I never did;  I was too busy LMAO.

Ford the Mustang laughing


Last Edited: May 5, 2019, 10:49 pm

Entry #113
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May 4, 2019, 11:38 pmDemocrats Island

Warning;  crude language, sexual innuendo ... but darn funny. (and sadly true)

Last Edited: May 4, 2019, 11:42 pm

Entry #112
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April 26, 2019, 4:16 pmOn This Day

One of the greatest plays in baseball was made:

Entry #111
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April 24, 2019, 8:58 pmThe Generation Gap...In Facts

Great article on MOTUS A.D. : Socialism: The Only Cure For Western Prosperity

If it makes anyone feel better – and I don’t know why it should – Alexandrea Ocasio Cortez is not the only Millennial economically challenged.

“Under capitalism man oppresses man, under socialism it’s the other way around.” – Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Apparently a good swath of the Millennial generation mis-misunderstands the facts and realities of finance and economics.

The rest of the article is about the generations alive today and their perceptions of how tough they had it, vs. the actual reality.

As a Boomer, I am so tired of being blamed for all the economic woes over the last fifty years.  Sheesh, I couldn't even vote fifty years ago, didn't even have a driver's license.   I saw a comment the other day in another forum that proclaimed our "greed" was why their generation had it so bad.  Good grief.  The article points out the true facts and the economics of various periods in recent history.

When I was first getting out on my own, I wasn't just wondering if I could get a good job with nearly 10% unemployment, but if even if I got a lousy job (Min. wage was $2/hr.), was I going to be able to fill up the tank of my old clunker...or if I could even FIND a station that had gasoline to sell.

I know "my generation" should bear *some* of the blame, but not nearly all of it...and besides, what's to be gained by placing blame? What's done is done.  MY generation, however, even the most wussified of us, did not require "safe places" or pander to the .03% - if that- of the population that couldn't figure out which sex they were and we knew there were more pressing problems than gender-neutral pronouns.  (I'm not sure that was a "thing" back then).  Then again, most of we Boomers are tougher than a two dollar steak. (probably not as tough - on the whole - as the previous generation, the one forged in the fires of The Great Depression and WWII, but we had our own trials and fears, too)

Nabbed this from the comments section, another musical parody.

You've Gotta Love Millennials - Micah Tyler

Last Edited: April 24, 2019, 9:03 pm

Entry #110
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April 24, 2019, 2:18 amAOC Mini-Me

Entry #109
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