Coin Toss's Blog

Adoption

A husband and wife who work for the circus went to an adoption agency. 

Social workers there raised doubts about their suitability.

The couple produced photos of their 50-foot motor home, which is clean and well maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery.

The social workers raised concerns about the education a child would receive while in the couple's care.

"We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin, and computer skills."

The social workers expressed concern about a child being raised in a circus environment.

"Our nanny is a certified expert in pediatric care, welfare, and diet."

The social workers were finally satisfied. They asked, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"

"It doesn't really matter, as long as the kid fits in the cannon."

Entry #614

Sobering Conundrums

Conundrum 

 A question asked for amusement, typically one with a pun in its answer; a riddle.

Conundrum

Here are six Conundrums of Socialism in the United States of America : 

1. America is capitalist and greedy - yet half of the population is subsidized. 

2. Half of the population is subsidized - yet they think they are victims. 

3. They think they are victims - yet their representatives run the government. 

4. Their representatives run the government - yet the poor keep getting poorer. 

5. The poor keep getting poorer - yet they have things that people in other countries only dream about. 

6. They have things that people in other countries only dream about - yet they want America to be more like those other countries. 

Think about it! And that, my friends, pretty much sums up the USA in the 21st Century. Makes you wonder who is doing the math. 

Entry #612

Huh? Go figure...

Every time a muslim does one of these mass shooting we're told they don't represent all muslims, but at the same time they're portrayed as representing all gun owners.

Does not compute.

The liberals believe that keeping honest citizens from getting guns to protect themselves with is going to stop the bad guys from getting guns. What an absolutely asinine assumption.

Entry #610

Trump and Hillary Clinton Ice Fishing

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton Go Ice Fishing…

How do you settle a presidential election when the vote is too close to call?
With an ice fishing contest, of course!   
 
After the first round of votes were counted, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump were deadlocked.
Instead of going through a recount, the two agreed to a week-long ice fishing contest to settle the election. Whoever caught the most fish at the end of the week would be the President.
 
The candidates decided a remote frozen lake in northern Wisconsin would be the ideal place. No observers on the fishing grounds, but both candidates would need to have their catches verified and counted each night at 5pm.
 
After Day 1, Trump returned with a total of 10 fish, Hillary came back with nothing. 
 
Day 2 finished, and Trump caught another 20 fish, but Hillary once again came back with nothing!
That night, Hillary and her cronies got together and accused Trump of being a “low-life, cheatin’ son-of-a-gun.” Instead of fishing on Day 3, they were just going to follow Trump to spy on him and figure out how he was cheating.
 
Day 3 finished up and Trump had an incredible day, adding 50 fish to his total!
That night, Hillary and her democratic buddies got together for the full report on how Donald was cheating. Hillary stood up to give her report and said, “You are not going to believe this, he’s cutting holes in the ice!”
 
And that, my friends, tells you all you need to know about the intelligence on the left side of the aisle!
 
Entry #609

One wish

Good one

A guy is walking along a Florida beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a good hard rub. A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish. The guy thinks for a moment and says, "I want to live forever." "Sorry," said the genie, "I'm not allowed to grant eternal life." "OK, then, I want to die after the Democrats balance the budget and eliminate the debt." "You crafty little <snip>!" said the genie.
Entry #607

A boy named Harold

AND THEY WONDER WHY WE ARE ANGRY?

"A boy named Harold "

This pretty much summarizes how Obama and most liberals view the US military.

 Harold was a bright child. He grew up in America. He went to school and had a bright future ahead of him.

 Harold was full of life but was cut short in a violent moment. While few people had ever heard of Harold before his death, many did afterward. And in death,something very shocking happened. What was so shocking, especially when it is compared to the death of someone else recently in the news?

Harold was Harold Greene, Major General, United States Army.

On Aug. 5, 2014, Major General Greene was killed by a Taliban terrorist. He was returned to America with full military honors.

It has been a tradition that the president attends the funeral of general and flag officers killed in the line of duty

Richard Nixon attended the funeral of a major general killed in Vietnam and George W. Bush attended the funeral of Lieutenant General Timothy Maude, who was killed in the 9/11 attacks.

While Major General Greene was buried, Barack Obama was golfing. The vice president wasn't there either. Neither was the secretary of defense. Flags were not even lowered to half staff.https://www.washingtonpost.com/.../obamas-silence...

Four days after Harold Greene gave his life for America, Michael Brown was killed in Ferguson, Missouri. Brown was at best a thug. In the minutes before his death, he committed a robbery at a local convenience store. According to other reports, Brown struck Officer Darren Wilson and shattered his orbital bone.

Obama sent a three-person delegation to Brown's funeral! Obama would not attend the funeral of the highest ranking military officer killed in the line of duty since 9/11, yet he sent a delegation to the funeral of a thug.

When Margaret Thatcher, one of America's staunchest allies and Ronald Reagan's partner in bringing down Soviet communism, died, Obama   sent only a small low-level delegation to her funeral.

The snub was not missed by the British.

When Chris Kyle, the most lethal American sniper in history was murdered, there was no expression of sympathy from the White House.

But when Whitney Houston died from drug overdose, Obama ordered all flags be flown at half mast.

There was no White House delegation at the funeral of an American hero. American heroes die and Obama goes to the golf course. A thug dies and he gets a White House delegation.

No wonder most "REAL" Americans hold Obama in such contempt, especially members of our Military.

And the only difference between Obama and Hillary is that she doesn't play golf.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Entry #606

Einstein, Speed of Light

Einstein, Speed of Light:  Einstein was a brilliant genius as we all know. Another lesser known of Einstein's formulas determined that, if you were to strip naked and run around in a circle at the speed of 299,792.458 KM/sec (the speed of light) it could be possible for you to screw yourself!

Should you determine you are not physically capable of achieving that speed you can easily achieve the same result by voting Democratic in the November 8, 2016 election.

Entry #604

May Day

MAY DAY

A young female college
student is flying in a two-seater airplane with just the
pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. 
 
She, now frantic,grabs the mike and calls out a May Day. "May Day! May
Day! Help me! Help me! The pilot had a heart attack and is
dead and I don't know how to fly. Someone help me!
Please help me!" 
 
She then hears a voice  on the radio saying: "This is Air Traffic Control and I
have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and
get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience
with this kind of problem. Now, just take a deep breath, stay calm and
everything will be fine! Now give me your height and
position. 
 
She then says,  "I'm 5'4" and I support  Hillary." "Okay," says
the voice on the radio, "repeat after me: Our Father, Who art in  Heaven . . . . "               
Entry #603

Why people remain in the lunatic asylum

"One reason people remain inside the lunatic asylum is because
they cannot understand mental crime, which is invisible. They can
only understand visible crimes like murder and robbery. But for
every crime observable with physical sight there are ten thousand
mental crimes which remain unseen by spiritually asleep human
beings. This includes intimidating people with cruel threats, mis-
leading others with false information, taking advantage of human
weakness for personal profit. It also includes the invisible crime
of constant self-deception by which an individual keeps himself in
mental chains. All of this is part of the lunatic asylum."

                        SOLVED The Mystery of Life, p. 37

                       by Vernon Howard

Entry #602