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My husband's brother won the lottery but hasn't offered to help us out.

Topic closed. 81 replies. Last post 1 year ago by kandi49.

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Should lottery winner help his brother?

Yes, he should help his brother. [ 22 ]  [23.16%]
No, he can do what he wants with his money. [ 52 ]  [54.74%]
Maybe he did offer help. [ 9 ]  [9.47%]
Other. [ 12 ]  [12.63%]
Total Valid Votes [ 95 ]  
Discarded Votes [ 3 ]  
grwurston's avatar - 144
Let's Go Rangers!!!
bel air maryland
United States
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April 24, 2010
4879 Posts
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Posted: August 15, 2015, 6:47 pm - IP Logged

Obviously he is under no obligation, but he does not seem to realize how hard it is to see how he spends his money on travel and amusements.

This line at the end of the story pretty much says where she is coming from...

"You can observe a lot just by watching." Yogi Berra, Hall of Fame baseball player.

The numbers will tell you what numbers to play. Pay attention to the numbers.

Don't just think outside the box, crush it.

    HoLeeKau's avatar - YheaShea
    Idaho
    United States
    Member #94283
    July 17, 2010
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    Posted: August 15, 2015, 6:48 pm - IP Logged

    I know a girl whose mom won millions in the lottery. The last time I saw her, she was still working at a gas station. She told me that her mom will not give her or her brother any money because she does not like how their spouses "blow through money". This left me scratching my head, wondering which came first, the chicken or the egg. She said the mom now travels frequently to Vegas, Hawaii and the Carribean with different men. Yikes!!!.

    What's wrong with traveling?  It's her money she can spend it however she enjoys.  And she can take along whomever she enjoys traveling with.

    I don't know exactly what the kids' spouses are doing, but I know if people are already spending irresponsibly even though they are only making minimum wage, I would be pretty unlikely to give them more.  I'd be more likely to give money or other material help to people who are willing to live within their income. 

    It irritates me to see a huge TV and the latest smart phones and new ATVs in the garage then have them complain they can't afford food.  These are the types that seem to think the world owes them a luxurious life.  And the type that won't be happy with a windfall of $100K.  They'll spend it in 6 months then be back with their hands out 99% of the time.

      Candy-Lane's avatar - yocco

      United States
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      July 2, 2015
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      Posted: August 15, 2015, 6:51 pm - IP Logged

      A simple explanation is pride. Many women do not understand that to men, pride is everything!

      If they have always been close then my guess would be that the brother has repeatedly offered financial assistance to his brother but, the brother keeps turning him down. He knows that if he ever needs any money all he has to do is phone him.

      It is possible that they have not always been close. Maybe something happened between the two that the wife doesn't know about. Maybe her husband wronged his brother badly in some way and the brother has since forgiven him.  This could also explain why the rich brother has not offered any financial assistance (if he truly hasn't), to the struggling brother. And, why the struggling brother won't ask his  brother for any financial assistance. He doesn't want the relationship to change or, go sour.

      Maybe he has helped his brother  in ways that the wife does not know about. Maybe the rich brother invested in his failed business, or funds his big gambling habit (if he has one, not saying he does).  Could be that his brother has set up a retirement fund for his struggling brother.  Could be that his long term plans do not include his current wife.

      I can understand her jealousy. I think it's perfectly natural for her to be jealous. 

      What bothers me is that she has gone public with her complaints. Does she expect her brother-in-law to read the article, recognize that the article is about him and fork over large sums of money?  Public shaming is a big gamble that rarely pays off. If anything it could cause a rift between the brothers.

      She has to get over it and move on! It's been several years now since he won the money. She has to let it go! I would tell her to keep playing the lottery and maybe she will get lucky too someday.

        noise-gate's avatar - images q=tbn:ANd9GcR91HDs4UJhjxO7cmeMQWZ5lB_FOcMLOGicau4V74R45tDgPWrr
        Bay Area - California
        United States
        Member #136477
        December 12, 2012
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        Posted: August 15, 2015, 6:56 pm - IP Logged

        Bingo : What bothers me is that she has gone public with her complaints.

        rizolltizide's Avatar : This woman is a Cancer.

        People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it- George Bernard Shaw.

          Number19King's avatar - Lottery-061.jpg
          Atlanta
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          June 19, 2011
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          Posted: August 15, 2015, 9:39 pm - IP Logged

           This is so real and Glad to see so many are saying he had the right to do as he pleases. A person as myself who has and understands wealth knows that everyone else doesn't due to choices they have made. Money does not help a person who doesn't understand how it works. Example I can teach a man to fish and he can eat a lifetime or I can give him a fish and he only eats  day!!! You can criple a person and make them worst off then where they where....I know first hand!!!Wink

             

               "Persistence & Patience Pays off    When Applied with Wisdom"

            mypiemaster's avatar - 2015021003pileofcash
            JACKPOT HUNTER

            United States
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            April 2, 2013
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            Posted: August 15, 2015, 11:20 pm - IP Logged

             This is so real and Glad to see so many are saying he had the right to do as he pleases. A person as myself who has and understands wealth knows that everyone else doesn't due to choices they have made. Money does not help a person who doesn't understand how it works. Example I can teach a man to fish and he can eat a lifetime or I can give him a fish and he only eats  day!!! You can criple a person and make them worst off then where they where....I know first hand!!!Wink

            I Agree! If they fail or crash and burn, they blame you for not giving them enough money, so it's now your fault that they did not succeed.

            Seek and ye shall find -Matt. 7:7 ...Ask and ye shall receive -John 16:24 ...Give and it shall be given unto you -Luke 6:38 ...Be careful what you ask for!!! -Mypiemaster 1:1

            Having Money Solves Problems That Not Having Money Creates Yes Nod ****John Carlton****

              Funtimz's avatar - Lottery-022.jpg

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              Posted: August 16, 2015, 5:21 am - IP Logged

               The story says nothing about her being unemployed, for all we know she could be working two jobs as well. What she did say was "   I think he should help his brother out."  Maybe she does not have a " lazy behind" as you put it RJ.

              Image result for lazy but talented.... maybe not!

              I Agree!

              Take Risks: If you win, you'll be happy.  If you lose, you will be wiser...

                Avatar

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                Posted: August 16, 2015, 6:56 pm - IP Logged

                http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/08/dear_prudence_my_brother_in_law_won_the_lottery_but_won_t_help_us_out.html

                This question was posed to Prudence last week. A lot of the comments are condemning the brother who won the lottery. Do you agree? Do you think the lottery winner should help his brother since they are so close?

                I actually thought that maybe the lottery winner did try to help his brother but maybe his brother refused the help. And honestly, I think the wife should probably let her husband handle the situation if he needs help.

                If it has been five years and they are still close, he already got his part of the share and didn't tell his wife don't be surprised if that's the case , ive heard of husbands winning millions and gotten  divorce or disappeared before the wife finds out .

                  cbr$'s avatar - maren
                  Cordova,Al.
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                  Posted: August 16, 2015, 9:03 pm - IP Logged

                  http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/08/dear_prudence_my_brother_in_law_won_the_lottery_but_won_t_help_us_out.html

                  This question was posed to Prudence last week. A lot of the comments are condemning the brother who won the lottery. Do you agree? Do you think the lottery winner should help his brother since they are so close?

                  I actually thought that maybe the lottery winner did try to help his brother but maybe his brother refused the help. And honestly, I think the wife should probably let her husband handle the situation if he needs help.

                  These brother came from the same places, now if before the win the other brother never asked for help why ask now? The wife is having a issues with this arrangement not the brothers. If this wife was to go to the brother about the other brother money issue; The first question that going to go through his brother mind is why are you telling me this & not my brother? Honestly I believe that if the other brother really wanted his brother help he could ask for himself. If these brothers are close the moment the brother will help him one way or the other. This has to be done brother to brother not wife to brother. I think the lottery winner should keep doing what he is doing, until his brother talk to him about it himself and ask for help. 

                    Bondi Junction
                    Australia
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                    December 24, 2007
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                    Posted: August 17, 2015, 7:35 am - IP Logged

                    These brother came from the same places, now if before the win the other brother never asked for help why ask now? The wife is having a issues with this arrangement not the brothers. If this wife was to go to the brother about the other brother money issue; The first question that going to go through his brother mind is why are you telling me this & not my brother? Honestly I believe that if the other brother really wanted his brother help he could ask for himself. If these brothers are close the moment the brother will help him one way or the other. This has to be done brother to brother not wife to brother. I think the lottery winner should keep doing what he is doing, until his brother talk to him about it himself and ask for help. 

                    This a a very good reason why winners should be allowed to remain anonymous. Winners find some relatives expect "help". Some winners go broke "helping" others.

                    We all get a lot out of lotteries!


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                      Posted: August 17, 2015, 8:40 am - IP Logged

                      The brother should buy tickets for his brother that needs help and win a jackpot for him!  It's that easy!  No winner can ever lose, it's not possible!

                        RedStang's avatar - tallman zps6gf4inoc.jpg
                        NY
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                        Posted: August 17, 2015, 12:24 pm - IP Logged

                        The wife has to be desperate to write a letter. If her husband had a successful business before she was probably use to buying what ever she wanted. My guess is the other brother was always frowned upon and now the roles have reversed.

                          SilverLion's avatar - 8ball

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                          Posted: August 17, 2015, 6:18 pm - IP Logged

                          http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/08/dear_prudence_my_brother_in_law_won_the_lottery_but_won_t_help_us_out.html

                          This question was posed to Prudence last week. A lot of the comments are condemning the brother who won the lottery. Do you agree? Do you think the lottery winner should help his brother since they are so close?

                          I actually thought that maybe the lottery winner did try to help his brother but maybe his brother refused the help. And honestly, I think the wife should probably let her husband handle the situation if he needs help.

                          What kind of help are they looking for? 

                          A 15 million dollar house or for all debts to be paid?

                          he has more money than he could spend in a dozen lifetimes

                          Perhaps he does.

                          There must be something that happened to the brothers at some time.  Also,

                          How does the slate person know it was a QP?  There is no mention of that in the letter.  (RED FLAG)

                            mikeintexas's avatar - tx avatar-1.gif
                            Texas Panhandle
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                            December 20, 2012
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                            Posted: August 17, 2015, 7:42 pm - IP Logged

                            This a a very good reason why winners should be allowed to remain anonymous. Winners find some relatives expect "help". Some winners go broke "helping" others.

                            That's an ignorant thing to say.  Do you REALLY think a lottery winner will be able to keep the news a secret from their family? Good grief.

                              zinniagirl's avatar - flower avatar_0026.jpg
                              nc
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                              Posted: August 17, 2015, 8:15 pm - IP Logged

                              That's an ignorant thing to say.  Do you REALLY think a lottery winner will be able to keep the news a secret from their family? Good grief.

                              Would be very easy for me to, if cla imed anonymously.  Dont csre to travel, dont care to oarty, just want a lttle farm to retire to and watch the grass grow.   Nothing out of my routine... My family lives all over the country so why would they know?