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My husband's brother won the lottery but hasn't offered to help us out.

Topic closed. 81 replies. Last post 1 year ago by kandi49.

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Should lottery winner help his brother?

Yes, he should help his brother. [ 22 ]  [23.16%]
No, he can do what he wants with his money. [ 52 ]  [54.74%]
Maybe he did offer help. [ 9 ]  [9.47%]
Other. [ 12 ]  [12.63%]
Total Valid Votes [ 95 ]  
Discarded Votes [ 3 ]  
HoLeeKau's avatar - YheaShea
Idaho
United States
Member #94283
July 17, 2010
2284 Posts
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Posted: August 17, 2015, 8:25 pm - IP Logged

Would be very easy for me to, if cla imed anonymously.  Dont csre to travel, dont care to oarty, just want a lttle farm to retire to and watch the grass grow.   Nothing out of my routine... My family lives all over the country so why would they know?

Me too.  My family would never know.

    mikeintexas's avatar - tx avatar-1.gif
    Texas Panhandle
    United States
    Member #136843
    December 20, 2012
    1257 Posts
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    Posted: August 17, 2015, 8:28 pm - IP Logged

    Would be very easy for me to, if cla imed anonymously.  Dont csre to travel, dont care to oarty, just want a lttle farm to retire to and watch the grass grow.   Nothing out of my routine... My family lives all over the country so why would they know?

    I probably could too, but I wouldn't keep it a secret from some of my family, (because I'd give them some money) and if I told some of them, the rest would know eventually   Do you really think that someone could keep it a secret from their spouse and children?  Someone - esp. young children -  would let it slip and then the secret is outta the bag.

    Sounds like you want much the same as I would if I won.


    A people that elect corrupt politicians, impostors, thieves and traitors are not victims...but accomplices.
     - George Orwell

      mikeintexas's avatar - tx avatar-1.gif
      Texas Panhandle
      United States
      Member #136843
      December 20, 2012
      1257 Posts
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      Posted: August 17, 2015, 8:34 pm - IP Logged

      Me too.  My family would never know.

      My family - the greedy ones and those who bugged me about sharing it w/ them - would come to know the word "No".

        zinniagirl's avatar - flower avatar_0026.jpg
        nc
        United States
        Member #99520
        October 26, 2010
        375 Posts
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        Posted: August 17, 2015, 8:34 pm - IP Logged

        I probably could too, but I wouldn't keep it a secret from some of my family, (because I'd give them some money) and if I told some of them, the rest would know eventually   Do you really think that someone could keep it a secret from their spouse and children?  Someone - esp. young children -  would let it slip and then the secret is outta the bag.

        Sounds like you want much the same as I would if I won.

        Once a frm grl, always a farm girl!

          Bondi Junction
          Australia
          Member #57242
          December 24, 2007
          1102 Posts
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          Posted: August 17, 2015, 10:33 pm - IP Logged

          Publicity puts pressure on winners to share a win with relatives. If the winner is not good at financial management, relatives can take advantage. 

          I like the UK Lottery's policy of allowing winners to remain anonymous and offering winners financial advice. US state lotteries should adopt such sensible policies.

          We all get a lot out of lotteries!

            dr65's avatar - black panther.jpg
            Pennsylvania
            United States
            Member #74096
            May 2, 2009
            22834 Posts
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            Posted: August 17, 2015, 10:51 pm - IP Logged

            There could be a number of reasons he didn't help. Help by the wife's definition might

            mean something else. Maybe she is the reason the winner won't just write a blank check.

            He might have helped often and well.

            Why is she writing? Because it's HER problem, that's why. People tend to exaggerate need

            when they find out someone close has money. Who knows if the brother was helped and

            is satisfied with the help he got. Maybe she is the envious one to a point of contempt.

            Many people seethe when they find out someone is suddenly miles ahead in financial terms.

            She mentions the relationship between the 2 and says it's a good one. Obviously there

            isn't, by her definition...any bad blood.

            I believe she is the one with the problem and it will only get worse if left to fester. She 

            needs to let it go.

            I believe the winner should share some and do think he already did. Also, there's the little

            matter of dignity some people would like to retain. It's possible the non-winning brother refused

            more than held his hand out.

            246 ~~ 485 ~~ 369 ~~ 890 ~~ 705 ~~ 357 ~~ 129 ~~ 165 ~  007 ~ 225 ~ 818 ~ 440 ~  7775 5557

              Avatar

              United States
              Member #132100
              August 26, 2012
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              Posted: August 18, 2015, 1:59 am - IP Logged

              http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/08/dear_prudence_my_brother_in_law_won_the_lottery_but_won_t_help_us_out.html

              This question was posed to Prudence last week. A lot of the comments are condemning the brother who won the lottery. Do you agree? Do you think the lottery winner should help his brother since they are so close?

              I actually thought that maybe the lottery winner did try to help his brother but maybe his brother refused the help. And honestly, I think the wife should probably let her husband handle the situation if he needs help.

              I guess that now each of his 1000 relatives are waiting for his money.

                RJOh's avatar - chipmunk
                mid-Ohio
                United States
                Member #9
                March 24, 2001
                19815 Posts
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                Posted: August 18, 2015, 10:22 am - IP Logged

                I wonder if LP members who refer to other LP members as family would feel the same way if they knew one of us had won a large jackpot.

                 * you don't need to buy more tickets, just buy a winning ticket * 
                   
                             Evil Looking       

                  Avatar
                  Kentucky
                  United States
                  Member #32652
                  February 14, 2006
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                  Posted: August 18, 2015, 2:00 pm - IP Logged

                  I wonder if LP members who refer to other LP members as family would feel the same way if they knew one of us had won a large jackpot.

                  Of course, but probably in a larger proportion than real relatives believing they own a piece of a jackpot because some LP members believe they are the owners of several number combinations.

                    Teddi's avatar - Lottery-008.jpg

                    United States
                    Member #142499
                    May 13, 2013
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                    Posted: August 18, 2015, 8:20 pm - IP Logged

                    I know a lot of people want to come down on the brother who won the lottery, but knowledge is power, and we certainly don't know the whole story here. Prudence gave bad advice. It isn't the writer's brother. She has no business asking him for anything. If she and the BIL close, she would have said something to him directly by now. So there's that. 

                    The one question I would ask this lady is right off the bat is, why, in the past 5 years, have you never asked your husband about it? It's obviously been on her mind and yet she never said anything to her husband when he had to take a second job? Really? Nothing about that seems odd to anyone else?

                    The real clincher here is that the brothers supposedly have a good relationship. They were on good speaking terms before the win, and are on good speaking terms after the win (which is a rarity in and of itself). So...I'm going with the option that perhaps everybody is in the loop with what's going on with the money split EXCEPT for the wife. Whether the money was offered and rejected, or asked for and rebuffed, or (and this is what I'm leaning towards) the marriage isn't a happy one and they don't want her to get a penny of the winnings, no one saw fit to tell her and that should tell us all something. 

                    I might wake up early and go running.  I might also wake up and win the lottery.

                    The odds are about the same.

                      RJOh's avatar - chipmunk
                      mid-Ohio
                      United States
                      Member #9
                      March 24, 2001
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                      Posted: August 19, 2015, 12:12 am - IP Logged

                      Of course, but probably in a larger proportion than real relatives believing they own a piece of a jackpot because some LP members believe they are the owners of several number combinations.

                      When I play a set of numbers they belong to me and who else played them regardless of who think they own them.  If they snooze they lose.

                       * you don't need to buy more tickets, just buy a winning ticket * 
                         
                                   Evil Looking       

                        RJOh's avatar - chipmunk
                        mid-Ohio
                        United States
                        Member #9
                        March 24, 2001
                        19815 Posts
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                        Posted: August 22, 2015, 12:36 pm - IP Logged

                        Of course, but probably in a larger proportion than real relatives believing they own a piece of a jackpot because some LP members believe they are the owners of several number combinations.

                        Look what happened when Gloria of Florida won her PB jackpot, the local news paper wrote articles about people claiming to be line when she stepped ahead of them to buy that winning ticket as if they should have shared her winnings.

                         * you don't need to buy more tickets, just buy a winning ticket * 
                           
                                     Evil Looking       

                          PlayToWin47's avatar - Lottery-041.jpg
                          Joplin MO
                          United States
                          Member #138489
                          January 28, 2013
                          190 Posts
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                          Posted: September 3, 2015, 11:46 pm - IP Logged

                          I find the story a bit hard to believe.  The brother supposedly won $50 million... If they were close, I can't imagine the brother not being willing to help out a bit ... or at least offering to do so.  Even a measly couple of million or so would help out tremendously, and would be a drop in the bucket compared to the 50.

                          I haven't even won big yet, but am looking forward to passing along some to my brother and sister, which is where I would draw the line. I would have, of course, included my parents, but they are gone now. How much I give would, of course, be determined on how much I win.

                            TinkerMazell's avatar - Lottery-035.jpg
                            Augusta, Georgia
                            United States
                            Member #127854
                            May 10, 2012
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                            Posted: September 4, 2015, 1:14 pm - IP Logged

                            The brothers are still close after 5 years, so apparently they have worked it out between them.  The wife needs to stay out of it.

                            That said, it is strange that the winner didn't give little bro at least a little money.  Or maybe he did and little bro is hiding it till he can break from the wife.  LOL

                            The article doesn't say whether or not the brothers are close. Maybe they are not. It does say they are close in age.

                            I am a $20,000 winner from a Georgia Lottery scratch off game called "$3,000,000 Taxes Paid"!

                              mypiemaster's avatar - 2015021003pileofcash
                              JACKPOT HUNTER

                              United States
                              Member #141034
                              April 2, 2013
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                              Posted: September 4, 2015, 2:35 pm - IP Logged

                              So, $hit happens!!!.

                              Seek and ye shall find -Matt. 7:7 ...Ask and ye shall receive -John 16:24 ...Give and it shall be given unto you -Luke 6:38 ...Be careful what you ask for!!! -Mypiemaster 1:1

                              Having Money Solves Problems That Not Having Money Creates Yes Nod ****John Carlton****