emilyg's Blog

"I have outlived my pecker."

"I have outlived my pecker."
A Poem  -  by Willie Nelson
My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my pride and joy,
Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord,
>From my trousers it would spring.
But now I've got a full time job,
To find the friggin thing.
It used to be embarrassing,
The way it would behave.
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues.
To see it hang its little head,
And watch me tie my shoes!

Entry #1,323

Weiner's wiener

Weiner relapses as 'Carlos Danger'
Anthony Weiner is apparently not finished sexting, as new revelations show the disgraced former Congressman, and now candidate for NYC Mayor, has still been chatting it up online. This time, however, he tried to be a little more discreet, using the name 'Carlos Danger' to lure potential partners. See the unbelievable update HERE.                               from glenn Beck

Entry #1,318

Never Stand In Line Again...

NEVER STAND IN LINE AGAIN

Some men carry and handle their  diplomacy better than others.

When former U.S. Military commander in Afghanistan, Stanley McChrystal, was called into  the Oval Office by Barack Obama, he knew things weren't going to go well when the President accused him of not supporting him in his political role as President.

"It's not my job to support you as a politician, Mr. President, it's my job to support you as Commander-in-Chief," McChrystal replied, and he handed Obama  his resignation.

Not satisfied with  accepting McChrystal's resignation the President made a cheap parting shot. "I bet when I die you'll be happy to pee on my  grave."

The General saluted. "Mr. President, I always told myself after  leaving the Army I'd never stand in line again."

Entry #1,317

James Woods on Obama..

James Woods rants against Obama's race speech
23 hrs ago

James Woods is pretty angry for a middle-aged guy dating a 20-year-old. Specifically, he's pissed at the president. The actor reacted angrily to Obama's speech about race on Friday, and its focus on black teenagers � rather than "ALL youth of every heritage in this country." Responding to the president's admission that he's heard the sound of car doors locking as he passed by white people, Woods unleashed a flurry of tweets, including: "The only reason people lock their car doors when Obama walks by is they are afraid he'll tax them to death." [Source]

Trending topic:  james woods twitter  | Click to see more on msnNOW.com

Entry #1,316

Barkley on verdict...

2 hr ago   

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NBA analyst offers his take on the Trayvon Martin case.

Charles Barkley finally spoke publicly on the Trayvon Martin verdict, and his comments may shock many of his fans.

"I agreed with the verdict," Barkley said Thursday on CNBC's "Closing Bell with Maria Bartiromo".

"I feel sorry that young kid got killed. But they didn't have enough evidence to charge him (George Zimmerman)."

Added Barkley: "Something clearly went wrong that night. Clearly, something went wrong and I feel bad for anybody that loses a kid. But if you look at the case, and you don't make it ... there was some racial profiling, no question about it. Something happened to change the dynamic of that night. And that's probably not a popular opinion among most people but just looking at the evidence, I agreed with the verdict."

Barkley said what upset him was not the verdict, but the racist attitudes expressed by many people who commented on the case.

"It gives every white person and black person, who's racist, a platform to vent their ignorance," Barkley said. "That's the thing that bothered me the most. I watched this trial closely and I watched all these people on television, talking about it. A lot of these people have a hidden agenda ... The bias comes out."

Entry #1,313

Zimmerman...

MARK LEVIN: If something happens to George Zimmerman,

Thursday, July 18, 2013 8:36:23 AM � by don-o � 73 replies
The Right Scoop ^ | July 17, 2013

Tonight Mark Levin said that Obama, Holder, Sharpton and others are responsible if George Zimmerman is harmed. And if something terrible happens to him, they have blood on their hands

Entry #1,312

Tolerance...

Jiggs McDonald, NHL Hall of Fame broadcaster speaking in Orillia, Ontario, said, "I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against another mosque being built in Toronto . I think it should be the goal of every Canadian to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus, the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, "The Turban Cowboy, " and the other a topless bar called "You Mecca Me Hot."

Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant called, " Iraq o' Ribs."

Across the street there could be a lingerie store called " Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret," with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods.

Next door to the lingerie shop there would be liquor store called, "Morehammered."

All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the very same tolerance they demand of us, so their mosque issue would not be a problem for others.

Yes we should promote tolerance, and you can do your part by passing this on.

Entry #1,311

Where's Obama and Sharpton??

When Dejon Ward got lost in Los Angeles last Friday, he did what any responsible driver would do: He pulled into a parking lot to examine a map. But Ward's commonplace decision ended in tragedy when a gunman approached and fatally shot him.

Now Los Angeles police are pleading with the public to help identify two men that they think were involved in the senseless shooting. During a press conference Tuesday, the LAPD unveiled security footage of two men emerging from a silver Nissan Armada SUV in the same parking lot Ward was in. The video does not show the shooting, but does show the two suspects running back to their car and speeding away.

aol news

Entry #1,310

Ammo shortage...

Although ammo isn't really becoming less scarce, this morning I lucked out and was able to buy a couple boxes.
I'd placed them on the passenger side front seat and was headed home, but stopped at a gas station to fill up.  A nice looking younger gal was filling her car over at the next pump.

She glanced in my car and noticed my ammo, then leaned in my direction and said in a friendly voice, "I'm a big believer in barter. Would you be interested in trading sex for ammo?"

I thought for a few seconds, then asked,  "What kind of ammo do you have?"

Entry #1,309