emilyg's Blog

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It will be well worth the two minutes it requires to read this. It is quite impressive.

You can be Republican, Democrat, Liberal, Conservative, Independent or Libertarian and I bet this will hit a nerve.

This gentleman is obviously quite smarter than the two senators he sent it to. All I can say is amen to everything he said. A very articulate letter sent to the two U.S. Senators from Washington State.
___________________________________

April 3, 2013

Senator Patty Murray
Senator Maria Cantwell
Washington , DC , 20510

Dear Senator:

I have tried to live by the rules my entire life. My father was a
Command Sergeant Major , U.S. Army, who died of combat related stresses
shortly after his retirement. It was he who instilled in me those
virtues he felt important - honesty, duty, patriotism and obeying the
laws of God and of our various governments. I have served my country,
paid my taxes, worked hard, volunteered and donated my fair share of
money, time and artifacts.

Today, as I approach my 79th birthday, I am heart-broken when I look
at my country and my government. I shall only point out a very few
things abysmally wrong which you can multiply by a thousand fold. I
have calculated that all the money I have paid in income taxes my
entire life cannot even keep the Senate barbershop open for one year!
Only Heaven and a few tight-lipped actuarial types know what the
Senate dining room costs the taxpayers. So please, enjoy your haircuts
and meals on us.

Last year, the president spent an estimated 1.4 $billion on himself
and his family. The vice president spends $millions on hotels. They
have had 8 vacations so far this year! And our House of
Representatives and Senate have become America's answer to the Saudi
royal family. You have become the "perfumed princes and princesses" of
our country.

In the middle of the night, you voted in the Affordable Health Care
Act, a.k.a. "Obama Care," a bill which no more than a handful of
senators or representatives read more than several paragraphs, crammed
it down our throats, and then promptly exempted yourselves from it
substituting your own taxpayer-subsidized golden health care
insurance.

You live exceedingly well, eat and drink as well as the "one
percenters," consistently vote yourselves perks and pay raises while
making 3.5 times the average U.S. individual income, and give up
nothing while you (as well as the president and veep) ask us to
sacrifice due to sequestration (for which, of course, you plan to
blame the Republicans, anyway).

You understand very well the only two rules you need to know - (1) How
to get elected, and (2) How to get re-elected. And you do this with
the aid of an eagerly willing and partisan press, speeches permeated
with a certain economy of truth, and by buying the votes of the
greedy, the ill-informed and under-educated citizens (and
non-citizens, too, many of whom do vote ) who are looking for a
handout rather than a job. Your so-called "safety net" has become a
hammock for the lazy. And, what is it now, about 49 or 50 million on
food stamps - pretty much all Democrat voters - and the program is
absolutely rife with fraud with absolutely no congressional oversight?

I would offer that you are not entirely to blame. What changed you is
the seductive environment of power in which you have immersed
yourselves. It is the nature of both houses of Congress which requires
you to subordinate your virtue in order to get anything done until you
have achieved a leadership role. To paraphrase President Reagan, it
appears that the second oldest profession (politics), bears a
remarkably strong resemblance to the oldest.

As the hirsute first Baron John Emerich Edward Dalberg Acton (1834 -
1902), English historian and moralist, so aptly and accurately stated,
"Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great
men are almost always bad men." I'm only guessing that this applies to
the female sex as well. Tell me, is there a more corrupt entity in
this country than Congress?

While we middle class people continue to struggle, our government
becomes less and less transparent, more and more bureaucratic, and
ever so much more dictatorial, using Czars and Secretaries to tell us
(just to mention a very few) what kind of light bulbs we must
purchase, how much soda or hamburgers we can eat, what cars we can
drive, gasoline to use, and what health care we must buy. Countless
thousands of pages of regulations strangle our businesses costing the
consumer more and more every day.

As I face my final year, or so, with cancer, my president and my
government tell me "You'll just have to take a pill," while you,
Senator, your colleagues, the president, and other exulted government
officials and their families will get the best possible health care on
our tax dollars until you are called home by your Creator while also
enjoying a retirement beyond my wildest dreams, which of course, you
voted for yourselves and we pay for.

The chances of you reading this letter are practically zero as your
staff will not pass it on, but with a little luck, a form letter
response might be generated by them with an auto signature applied,
hoping we will believe that you, our senator or representative, has
heard us and actually cares. This letter will, however, go on line
where many others will have the chance to read one person's opinion,
rightly or wrongly, about this government, its administration and its
senators and representatives.

I only hope that occasionally you might quietly thank the taxpayer for
all the generous entitlements which you have voted yourselves, for
which, by law, we must pay, unless, of course, it just goes on the $17
trillion national debt for which your children and ours, and your
grandchildren and ours,ad infinitum, must eventually try to pick up
the tab.

My final thoughts are that it must take a person who has either lost
his or her soul, or conscience, or both, to seek re-election and
continue to destroy this country I deeply love and put it so far in
debt that we will never pay it off while your lot improves by the
minute, because of your power. For you, Senator, will never stand up
to the rascals in your House who constantly deceive the American
people. And that, my dear Senator, is how power has corrupted you and
the entire Congress. The only answer to clean up this cesspool is term
limits. This, of course, will kill the goose that lays your golden
eggs. And woe be to him (or her) who would dare to bring it up.

Sincerely,

Bill Schoonover
3096 Angela Lane
Oak Harbor , WA 98277 

=

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't  you say? 
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.  It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!  They put in a correction the next day.     
I just couldn't help but send this along. Too funny.   
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
      Really? Ya think?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 
       Now that's taking things a bit far!

-----------------------------------------------------------
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over 
       What a guy!   
--------------------------------------------------------------- 

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Good-for-nothing lazy so-and-so's!
------------------------------------------------------ 

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant 
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
  ----------------------------------------------------------

War Dims Hope for Peace 
I can see where it might have that effect!
----------------------------------------------------------------

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
   Ya think?!
----------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures 
      Really...?!
----------------------------------------------------------------

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide   
They may be on to something!
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges 
      You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
  ----------------------------------------------------------

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge 
     He probably IS the battery charge!
---------------------------------------------- 

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group 
Weren't the last lot fat enough?!
-----------------------------------------------   

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft 
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
---------------- --------------------------------- 

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks 
       Do they taste like chicken?
****************************************

Local  High School Dropouts Cut in Half 
       Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
***************************************************

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors 
       Boy, are they tall!
******************************************* 

And the winner is.... 
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?
***************************************************

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle). We all need a good laugh, at least once a day!

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Ever happen to you??

> HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD.
> WELL . . .. YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE.
> MY NAME IS ALICE, AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.
> I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 50-ODD YEARS AGO.
> COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?
>
> UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.
>
> THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.
>
> AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL .
>
> 'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.
>
> WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?', I ASKED.
>
> HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1962. WHY DO YOU ASK?'
>
> 'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.
>
> HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.
>
> THEN, THAT UGLY, OLD,BALD, WRINKLED FACED, FAT-ASSED, GRAY-HAIRED,
> DECREPIT SON-OF-A-BITCH ASKED,'WHAT DID YOU TEACH???

Snow White, Superman and Pinocchio are out for a stroll in town one day.

As they walk, they come across a sign. "Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."

"I'm entering" said Snow White.
After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya do?"
"First Place," said Snow White.

They continue walking and they see a sign, "Contest for the strongest man in the world."

"I'm entering," says Superman.
After half an hour he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"
"First Place," answers Superman. "Did you ever doubt?"

They continue walking when they see a sign, "Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?"

Pinocchio says "this is mine"

Half an hour later, he returns with tears in his eyes.

"What happened?" they asked.

"Who the hell is Obama?" asked Pinocchio.

1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2.Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4.Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

6Supermarket Law - As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.

6.Variation Law -If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

7.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11.. Law of the Theatre & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

15.Law of Logical Argument-Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17.Oliver's Law of Public Speaking- A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18.Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better... But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. This has been proven over and over with taking children to the pediatrician.

A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of
about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.

The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the
dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"

One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood
stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So
we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will
get to keep the dog."

Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be
having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into
a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know
it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I
never told a lie."

There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was
beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy
gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."

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A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat ... As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston "

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't
even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba.

Two 90-year-old men, Phil and Joe, had been friends all of their lives.

When it was clear that Phil was dying, Joe visited him every day.

One day Joe said, "Phil, we both loved playing baseball all our lives, and we played all through high school. Please do me one favor: when you get to heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's baseball there."

Phil looked up at Joe from his deathbed and said, "Joe, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you."

Shortly after that, Phil died.

A few nights later, Joe was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, "Joe, Joe ."

"Who is it," asked Joe, sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

"Joe -- it's me, Phil"

"You're not Phil. Phil just died."

"I'm telling you, it's me, Phil," insisted the voice.

"Phil ! Where are you?"

"In heaven," replied Phil. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."

"Tell me the good news first," said Joe.

"The good news," Phil said with joy and enthusiasm, "is that there is baseball in heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before me are here, too. Even better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always Springtime and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play ball all we want, and we never get tired." And we get to play with all the Greats of the past.?

"That's fantastic," said Joe "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?"

"You're pitching Tuesday."

The Nun

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, 'Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later.'
The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked,

Sister, have you seen a soldier?'

The nun replied, 'He went that way.'
After the MP's ran off, the soldier
crawled out from under her skirt and said, 'I can't thank you enough
Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq .'
The nun said, 'I understand completely.'
The soldier added, 'I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!'

The nun replied, 'If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls....I don't want to go to Iraq either !!

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." He just knew what it was.

"Oh my", he shuddered, it's Satan and the Lord dividing the souls at the cemetery.

He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

"Come here quick", said the boy, "You won't believe what I heard. Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."

The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..." The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' the truth. Let's see if we can see the devil himself."

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of Satan.

At last they heard, "One for you, one for me." And one last "One for you, one for me." " That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done."

They said the old guy made it back to town a full 5 minutes before the young boy

COMMUNISM IS CREEPING IN ONE STEP AT A TIME, EXACTLY AS PLANNED.

Six trivia questions to see how much history you know. Be honest, it's kinda fun and revealing. If you don't know the answer make your best guess. Answer all the questions (no cheating) before looking at the answers.
Who said  it?
1) "We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good."
A. Karl Marx
B. Adolph Hitler
C. Joseph Stalin
D. None of the above

2) "It's time for a new beginning, for an end to government of the few, by the few, and for the few...... And to replace it with shared responsibility ,,,,,for shared prosperity."

A. Lenin
B.  Mussolini
C. Idi Amin
D. None of the Above

3) "(We) .....can't just let business as usual go on, and that means something has to be taken away from some people."

A. Nikita Khrushev
B. Josef Goebbels
C. Boris Yeltsin
D. None of the above

4) "We have to build a political consensus and that requires people to give up a little bit of their own ... in order to create this common ground."

A. Mao Tse Dung
B. Hugo Chavez
C. Kim Jong Il
D. None of the above

5) "I certainly think the free-market has failed."

A. Karl Marx
B. Lenin
C. Molotov
D. None of the above

6) "I think it's time to send a clear message to what has become the most  profitable sector in (the) entire economy that they are being watched."

A. Pinochet
B. Milosevic
C. Saddam Hussein
D. None of the above
Scroll down for answers

Answers
(1) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/29/2004
(2) D. None of the above.  Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 5/29/2007
(3) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007
(4) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007
(5) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007
(6) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 9/2/2005