ochoop17's Blog

What Do You..

What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow?

I have no idea but I wouldn’t try milking it.

Entry #3,062

The Test

Two men, Robert and James, applied for an engineering position. Both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the department manager.
       Upon completion of the exam both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Robert and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give James the job."
       Robert replied, "Why? We both correctly answered nine questions. I believe I should get this job, especially since I've grown up in this town and James just moved here."
       The manager said, "We made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed."
       "How could one incorrect answer be better than the other?," asked Robert.
       "Simple," said the manager. "James put down on question #5, 'I don't know', and you put down, 'Neither do I.'"

Entry #3,061

A New Parrot

Joke Of The Day

A New Parrot

October 3, 2016

A woman went to a pet shop and spotted a large, beautiful parrot.
There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
'Why so little?' she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, 'Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.'
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, 'New house, new madam.'
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought 'That's really not so bad.'
When her two teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them and said, 'New house, new madam, new girls.'
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.
Moments later, the woman's husband Fred came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said, 'Hi, Fred.'

Entry #3,059

What Falls..

What falls but never breaks, and what breaks but never falls?

Entry #3,058

The Ring

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him.

The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special."

At that Statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over.

"Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.

The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by check. "I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.

Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account."


"I know," said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"

Don't mess with Old People.

Entry #3,057

A Newer One

Is an older one-hundred dollar bill worth more than a newer one?

Entry #3,056

Pass Gas

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

Entry #3,055

Touring Egypt

A man and his wife are touring Egypt.
While looking at the pyramids, a local merchant calls them over. He offers the man 100 camels in exchange for his wife. The man takes a few minutes, but ultimately refuses the offer and the two go on their way. A bit later the man's wife asks him, "What took you so long to say no?". The man replies, "I was trying to think of a way to bring 100 camels back home!"

Entry #3,054

What Color..

In a one-story pink house, there was a pink person, a pink cat, a pink fish, a pink computer, a pink chair, a pink table, a pink telephone, a pink shower– everything was pink!
What color were the stairs?

Entry #3,053

When You..

When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Entry #3,052

What Can..

What can you give and keep at the same time?

Entry #3,051

What Am I ?

A time when they’re green, a time when they’re brown,


But both of these times, cause me to frown.


But just in between, for a very short while,


They’re perfect and yellow, and cause me to smile!


What am I talking about here?

Entry #3,050

Did You Know..

Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?It runs in your jeans!

Entry #3,049

Who Paid The Bill ?

Tuesday, Sam and Tim went to a restaurant. When it was time for them to pay their bill, Sam and Tim did not pay. Who paid the bill?

Entry #3,048
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