ochoop17's Blog

How many seconds are there in one year?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

If you had five mango and two bananas in one hand and two mango and four bananas in the other hand.

what would you have?

If a wheel has 64 spokes, how many spaces are there between the spokes?

A man was driving to the hospital, with his wife who was pregnant with twins, when his car went out of control and crashed.

Regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a high school dropout which was never taken seriously, sitting at his bed side.

He asked his brother how his wife was doing and his brother said, “Don’t worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter.
But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I named them for you.”

The husband was thinking to himself, “Oh no, what has he done now?” and asked with some trepidation, “Well, bro, what did you name them?”
His brother replied, “I named the little girl Denise.”
The husband, relieved, said, “That’s a lovely name! And what did you come up with for my son?”

The brother winked and replied, “Denephew.”

what makes road broader ?

A little girl in her Sunday best was running as fast as she could to get to Sunday school on time. 
  As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late. Dear Lord, please don't let me be late."
At that moment she tripped and fell getting her clothes all dirty. She got up, brushed herself off and started running again, praying... "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late, but don't shove me anymore!"

A train leaves from New York City heading toward Los Angeles at 100 mph. Three hours later, a train leaves from Los Angeles heading toward New York City at 200 mph. Assume there's exactly 2000 miles between Los Angeles and New York City. When they meet, which train is closer to New York City?

What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again?
A dirty double-crosser!

What tastes better than it smells?

A General retired after 35 years and realized a life-long dream of buying a bird-hunting estate in South Dakota. He invited an old friend to visit for a week of pheasant-shooting. The friend was in awe of the General's new bird dog, ''Sarge''.

The dog could point, flush and retrieve with the very best, and the friend offered to buy the dog at any price. The General declined, saying that Sarge was the very best bird dog he had ever owned and that he wouldn't part with him at any price.

A year later the same friend returned for another week of hunting and was surprised to find the General breaking in a new dog. ''What happened to ole ''Sarge?'' he asked.

''Had to shoot him,'' grumbled the General. ''A friend came to hunt with me and couldn't remember the dog's name. He kept calling him Colonel. After that, all that <snip> dog would do was sit on his ass and bark.

What can you make from baked beans and onions?

Q. Why do vampires drink blood?
A. Because coffee keeps them awake all day!

I have one, you have one.
If you remove the first letter, a bit remains.
If you remove the second, bit still remains.
After much trying, you might be able to remove the third one also, but it remains.
It dies hard!