ochoop17's Blog

I am the center of gravity, hold a capital situation in Vienna, and as I am
foremost in every victory, am allowed by all to be invaluable. Though I am
invisible, I am clearly seen in the midst of a river. I could name three who are
in love with me and have three associates in vice. It is vain that you seek me
for I have long been in heaven yet even now lie embalmed in the grave. What am
I?

May 17, 1536: Archbishop _______ declares the marriage  of England's King Henry VIII to _________ is invalid after she fails to bear a male heir.

What two of the same letters are missing from this word? _rom_

On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."

At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

May 15, 1918: The first experimental airmail route inthe U. S. starts between Washington,_______ and _______.

I am the beginning of the end, and the end of time and space. I am essential to creation, and I surround every place. What am I?

Want to hear a dirty joke? A man fell in the mud.

Want to hear a clean joke? He took a bath with bubbles.

Want to hear another dirty joke? Bubbles was his neighbor.

May 12, 1933: The Federal ___________ and ______________ are established to help the needy and farmers.

I am a time for gathering crops. My last four letters is something that you wear. What am I?

They say milk gives you strength.
Drink 10 glasses of milk and try to move a wall.
You cant.
Drink 10 shots of Vodka and it moves by itself.

May 9, 1962: Scientists at the _______ Institute of _________ succeed in reflecting a laser beam off the surface of the ______.

In Dances with Wolves, what was the name of the wolf ?

What is it that no man ever saw, which never was, but always will be?

1. Only in America……can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.
2. Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of
a skating rink.
3. Only in America……do drugstores make the sick walk all the
way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America……do people order double
cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
5. Only in America……do banks
leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the
counters.
6. Only in America……do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in
the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America……do
we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t
miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
8.
Only in America……do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of
eight.
9. Only in America……do we use the word ’politics’ to describe the
process so well: Poli’ in Latin meaning ’many’ and ’tics’ meaning ’bloodsucking
creatures’.
10. Only in America……do they have drive-up ATM machines with
Braille lettering.