ochoop17's Blog

• "A blind man was calling an end to his relationship with his girlfriend: "I'm sorry, I can't see you anymore" (Anonymous)

March 18, 17-- :Britain repeals the Stamp Act of 17--.

A lion woke up one morning with the urge to assert his superiority over his fellow beasts.

He strode over to a monkey, and roared "Who is the Mightiest of Animals?"

  "You are, Master," said the monkey, cowering.

Then the lion approached a warthog. "Who is the Mightiest of Animals?" roared the lion.

"You are, my Lord," said the warthog, quivering with fear.

Next the lion met an elephant. "Who is the Mightiest of Animals?" roared the lion.

The elephant grabbed the lion with his trunk, swung him in the air, slammed him ten times against a  tree trunk, threw him into a dense patch of thorns, and strolled away.

"Okay!" shouted the lion. "There's no need to turn nasty just because you don't know the answer!"

March 15, 14--: ________ returns to Spain, concluding his first voyage to the Western Hemisphere.

Some take me in the morning, others take me in the evening, but one thing you should know - that when I'm 'taken', I don't really go anywhere?

Knock, Knock. Who’s there? A little old lady. A little old lady who? Wow, I didn’t know you could yodel!

March 12, 1930: Indian political and spiritual leader ________ begins a 200 miles march to protest a British tax on ____.

I am mother and father, but never birth or nurse. I'm rarely still, but I never wander. What am I?

When I was young I didn't like going to weddings.
My grandmother would tell
me, "You're next"
However, she stopped doing that after I started saying the
same thing to her at funerals.

March 9, 1661: Cardinal ______ dies in France, and King _____ begins personal rule.

A conceited new rookie was pitching his
first game. He walked the first five men he faced and the manager took him out
of the game. The rookie slammed his glove on the ground as he yelled, "<snip> it,
the jerk took me out when I had a no-hitter going."

Mar.6, 18--: In its ____ Scott decision, the U. S. Supreme Court holds that Scott, a slave, could not sue for his freedom in a federal court.

Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?