ochoop17's Blog

Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law school.
He decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man in this
small town. He really wanted to impress everyone. He opened his new law office,
but business was very slow at first. One day, he saw a man coming up the
sidewalk. He decided to make a big impression on this new client when he
arrived.

As the man came to the door, Joe picked up the phone. He
motioned the man in, all the while talking..

"No. Absolutely not. You
tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than one
million.."

"Yes. The Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next
week. I'll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team
will provide support.."

"Okay. Tell the DA that I'll meet with him next
week to discuss the details.."

This sort of thing went on for almost 5
minutes. All the while the man sat patiently as Joe rattled instructions.
Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man. "I'm sorry for the delay,
but as you can see, I'm very busy.

What can I do for you?"

The man
replied "I'm from the phone company..I came to hook up your phone."

Jan.15,17--: The people of New Connecticut declare their independence. The tiny republic later becomes the state of _______.

Born at the same time as the world, destined to live as long as the world, and
yet never five weeks old. What is it?

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never
worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Jan. 11, 49 B.C. : Roman Emperor Julius Caesar crosses the ______ river and moves his troop into an offensive position in the war against _______.

What do you get when you cross an automobile with a household animal?

Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died? 
He was looking for loopholes!

Jan. 8, 19--: U.S. President __________ outlines his -- points for peace after World War I.

What kind of flowers would you kiss?

This guy goes into a restaurant and looks over the
menu.

A few minutes later the waitress comes to the table and asks the
guy if he knew what he wanted.

The guy says 'I'd like a quickie'.


The waitress flushes and says 'That's not funny. Now, what would you
like to order.' The guys says, 'I'd really like a quickie'.

The waitress
angrily storms off after this.

Another customer overheard the
conversation. He leans over and says to the guy, 'I think that it's pronounced
quiche...'

Jan.5, 1895 : The discovery of ____ is announced by German physicist Wilhelm _______.

Walk over the living, they don't even mumble; walk over the dead, they mutter and grumble. What are they?

• monk = a religious man who spends much time praying and thinking about religion.
• monastery = a place where monks live.
• a vow of silence = a promise not to speak

A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk. The head monk said, "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years." The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "Food cold!" the man replied. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?" "Robe dirty!" the man exclaimed. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "I quit!" said the man. "Well," the head monk replied, "I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!"

Jan. 2, 1983: The musical "Annie," based on the "__________" comic strip, closes on Broadway after a run of _____ performances.

What is the word or phrase?
R | E | A | D