emilyg's Blog

Monday Warning Label

 

  Found on a box of Trojan condoms:

 

                          Any use of Trojan brand latex condoms for other than vaginal intercourse can increase the potential damage to the condom.

  Using Trojan brand latex condoms for anything other than sex indicates that you don't quite understand this product.

 

                      Doh

Entry #228

Starvation

 

  Starvation is part of what the universe is about, but so is my desire to change it.

Entry #227

Sunday Warning Label

Found on a public restroom at rest stop along a Wisconsin highway:

 

                                  DO NOT EAT THE URINAL CAKES.

maybe they shouldn't make them look so much like cheese wheels.

Entry #226

Neurotics

  Neurotics are looking for problems.  They want things to get worse.  They want to be right.

Entry #225

Friday Warning Label

Found on a bottle of Scope mouthwash, which contains alcohol:

 

                        Do not use in children under six years of age.  Children over six should be supervised.

But a shot of mouthwash before bedtime really puts the kids to sleep in a hurry. 

Entry #224

Mind

 

  Since your mind is your own private territory, you can give any new idea a private audition for a few days.

Entry #223

Life

 

  You get treated in Life the way you teach people to treat you.

Entry #222

Thinking

 

  Healthy thinking is a habit, just like neurotic thinking is a habit.

Entry #221

Old Habits

 

  You overcome old habits by leaving them behind. 

Entry #220

Tuesday Warning Label

Found on a package of d-Con Mouse Prufe II mouse poison:

 

              CAUTION:  May be harmful or fatal if swallowed.

Isn't that the whole idea behind poison.....that it's poison.?

 

                                        What?

Entry #219

Love

 

  Love is forgiving...

              and Love is for giving

Entry #218

Judgment

 

  The only difference between a flower and a weed is judgment.

Entry #217

Respect

  The people who get the most respect in this world are those who are the straightest, even though they often take the most abuse.

Entry #216

Temple

  You can attend a beautiful service every Sunday, and you can practice all kinds of Bible saying, you can label yourself with the most fantastic tags that you can come up with, but you won't find your heart in a temple if you don't have a temple in your heart.

Entry #215

Friday Warning Label

  Found on KinderGuard child protection products:

     CAUTION:  This product is designed to help minimize accidents.  Use of this product is not a substitute for adult supervision.

  That's right.  A television is the proper substitute for adult supervision.

 

Entry #214