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Found on a box of Trojan condoms:
Any use of Trojan brand latex condoms for other than vaginal intercourse can increase the potential damage to the condom.
Using Trojan brand latex condoms for anything other than sex indicates that you don't quite understand this product.
Starvation is part of what the universe is about, but so is my desire to change it.
Found on a public restroom at rest stop along a Wisconsin highway:
DO NOT EAT THE URINAL CAKES.
maybe they shouldn't make them look so much like cheese wheels.
Neurotics are looking for problems. They want things to get worse. They want to be right.
Found on a bottle of Scope mouthwash, which contains alcohol:
Do not use in children under six years of age. Children over six should be supervised.
But a shot of mouthwash before bedtime really puts the kids to sleep in a hurry.
Since your mind is your own private territory, you can give any new idea a private audition for a few days.
Healthy thinking is a habit, just like neurotic thinking is a habit.
You overcome old habits by leaving them behind.
Found on a package of d-Con Mouse Prufe II mouse poison:
CAUTION: May be harmful or fatal if swallowed.
Isn't that the whole idea behind poison.....that it's poison.?
The only difference between a flower and a weed is judgment.
The people who get the most respect in this world are those who are the straightest, even though they often take the most abuse.
You can attend a beautiful service every Sunday, and you can practice all kinds of Bible saying, you can label yourself with the most fantastic tags that you can come up with, but you won't find your heart in a temple if you don't have a temple in your heart.
Found on KinderGuard child protection products:
CAUTION: This product is designed to help minimize accidents. Use of this product is not a substitute for adult supervision.
That's right. A television is the proper substitute for adult supervision.
