ochoop17's Blog

What do you call a scared dinosaur?

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other," Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great." "That's great! And what was the name of the clinic?" Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"
"You mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?"

Why can it be said that Sunday is the strongest day of the week?

Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit

What grows up while growing down?

Question: What do a woman, a tornado and a hurricane have in common?
Answer: They all get the house!

Fill me up with water
And I'll really heat things up
I'm no beauty cream
But I'm great at removing wrinkles

What am I?

strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of Morris, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, Morris had enough.
       
       "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."
       
       "You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "It's a bet! Let's see what you got."
       
       Morris reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."

Why is a cake like a baseball team?

Three buddies die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the pearly gates.

They are all asked: 'When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning, what would you like to hear them say about you?'

 

 

 

The first guy says: 'I would like to hear them say that I was the greatest doctor of my time, and a great family man.'

 

 

 

The second guy says: 'I would like to hear that I was a school teacher who made a huge difference.'

 

 

 

The last guy replies: 'I would like to hear them say... "LOOK .. HE'S MOVING!"'

Q: Can you spell rotted with two letters?

Think about the phrase " There are plenty of other fish in the sea," but then again, who would want to date fish?

What do you fill with empty hands?

A preacher was walking down the street when he notices a little boy trying to ring the doorbell but it's just out of his reach. he watches his efforts for some time and walks over to press the the bell. After he pressed it he leveled down to the boy and asked' "Now what?" to which the boy turned and shouted, "NOW WE RUN!!"