ochoop17's Blog

Sept. 5, 19__: President __________ signed legislation making aircraft hijackings a federal crime.

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in
bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she
answered. I then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look
at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I said, "Then I'd like to
phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...

If a woman marries a king, what would she be ?

Sept. _,19 _ : World War II began as Nazi Germany invaded _______.

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a
wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our
jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on
the fire truck ready to go.

"From now on when I say BELL 1, I want you
to strip naked. When say BELL 2, I want you to jump in bed. And when I say BELL
3, we are going to make love all night." The next night he came home from work
and yelled, "BELL 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off.

When
he yelled "BELL 2!", the wife jumped into bed. When he yelled "BELL 3!", they
began making love. After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4!" "What the hell
is BELL 4?" asked the husband?

"ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied,
"YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE."

A railroad crossing, look for the cars. Can you spell all that without any R's?

Aug. --, 1963: The "________" Communications link between Washington and _____ went into operation.

A student was standing near the college mail room with a package in her hands
and a depressed look on her face. Her friend came and said: "What's the matter?
You look pretty sad for getting a package from home." The student replied, "My
dad played a cruel trick on me. I wrote and asked for $200 for a dictionary, and
he sent me a dictionary."

What common English verb becomes its own past tense by rearranging its letters?

Aug. 27, 1776: The Battle _________ began during the Revolutionary War as British troops attacked American forces.

A man walks in to a bar and  says to the  bartenter " Give me twenty shots of your best singlemalt  scotch quick!"]  The bartender pours the shots, and the man drinks  them as fast as he  can.  The bartender says " Wow. I never  saw anybady drink that fast."  The man says " well you would drink  as fast as I do if you had what I  have."  The bartender says  " Oh my god . what is it. what do you have?"  The man looks at  him and says " Fifty cents."

What is in seasons, seconds, centuries and minutes but not in decades, years or days?

Aug. 24, 19--: ______________ embarked on a _ hour flight from Los Angeles to _____, making her the first woman to fly solo, nonstop, coast to coast.

So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are
365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you
already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you
spend 16 hours each day away fron work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only
91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break which counts
for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each
day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You
normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per
year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available
working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year
which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be darned if you are going
to take that day off

The priest in my hometown told us that on a particular day he would walk on water for 30 minutes. The lake was not dry and we all observed the priest actually walking on water. How?